Horror Remix

Horror Remix Presents… BEAST
2 Hours of Evil Animals!
Benefits Local Animal Shelters
Rated R – Free admission, but cash donations encouraged.

Monday June 27
San Antonio – Alamo Park North (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)

Tuesday June 28
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm – benefiting Fix Our Friends )

Wednesday June 29
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm – benefiting Texas Paw Prints)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm – benefiting Ahimsa House Inc.)
San Antonio – Alamo Stone Oak (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm – benefiting Homeless Pet Placement League)
Winchester – Alamo (new time, 9pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm – benefiting Austin Humane Society)

Thursday June 30
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm – benefiting East Lake Pet Orphanage)

Saturday July 2
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm – benefiting Homeless Pet Placement League)

I’m very excited to announce the 1st Horror Remix benefit. I don’t have to tell you that when disaster strikes the world (earthquakes in Japan, tornados in Alabama and Missouri) donations to animal shelters run dry. Basically, good puppies and kitties need our help more than ever. Horror Remix is a fringe group, so it only makes sense to support smaller charities and since Horror Remix is always free, you should have plenty of bones for the donation jar.

Finding animal shelters to be involved was actually hard work. Horror Remix would like to thank Julie Leonard for rounding up the shelters involved. Trust me, most shelters don’t find much humor in ‘evil animal’ films (which is understandable) and many shelters turned us down. They didn’t even want our money! However, Julie wouldn’t give up and actually found some shelters that think this is really cool.

So, please bring cash to the show and support these great shelters. Not only are they doing important work for good puppies and kitties, but they’re also brave enough to team up with us. In return, we found a way to stay true to the Horror Remix name while ensuring that the films we chose did not depict any animal abuse and confirming that no animals were harmed in the making of these films.

So let’s raise tons of money and make the shelters who turned us down regretful.

HORROR REMIX PRESENTS… BEAST
The animal-attack genre has had a healthy history in the past 100 years, from the groundbreaking KING KONG (1933) to the instant cult-classic BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR (2008). The 1970’s was the pinnacle on the genre with a new fearful creature every year; pigs, frogs, piranha and of course, sharks. Horror Remix is obviously onboard with such insanity.

However, as much as we love the animal-attack genre, it’s just not enough for animals to administer a vengeance-fueled ass-kicking on man. That’s what wild animals do. Sharks, grizzlies, tigers, YES, they can eat you. Our interests our geared toward domestic animals. Pets. Pissed pets. Now, doesn’t that sound even better?

DEVIL DOG: THE HOUND OF HELL (1978)
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell director Curtis Harrington referred to it as “the worst TV-movie ever made.” OK, so maybe it’s a horror film that’s not scary. Big deal. Thirty-two years after its original airing on Halloween night 1978, this film is still delivering the goods.

‘TV-movie’ is important to note, simply because it helps create the context. DEVIL DOG looks like THE BRADY BUNCH or EIGHT IS ENOUGH. It feels so safe and sweet. So, when shit starts to go down, even the smallest incident feels surreal, almost inappropriate. I’m not going to pretend this movie pushed the envelope or anything, but I can say DEVIL DOG is pure entertainment.

THE UNCANNY: QUEBEC (1977)
I was shocked to learn our friendly Canadians had cooked up a horror anthology about cats. CATS? Yes, cats. You may be saying, ‘Hey Horror Remix! They made horror films about frogs and rabbits, why not cats?’ True, but those frogs and rabbits were wild animals. And frogs, although mostly cute, can sometimes look gross. Cats are different. They live with us. They’re our family members. I have two cats. One is super fat and gets nervous around toddlers. The other is kind of a bad-ass, kills snakes and shit, but again, scared of toddlers. There is a reason for the term ’scaredy cat’ or that cowards are called ‘pussies.’ So, you can see why I was thrilled to watch not just one, but three cat-horror vignettes, all of which feature pissed off kitties.

The first short, LONDON, is a solid, gothic Hammer throwback. It’s very well done, but it’s not a crowd-pleaser that Horror Remix likes to cater to. The last short, LOS ANGELES is playing for laughs, so it has no edge and it’s just not funny. However, QUEBEC, the juicy meat of THE UNCANNY sandwich, is remix gold. Some reviews will claim QUEBEC is the worst of the vignettes, but don’t take that as a bad thing. Wellington the Cat may look sweet, but its heart is as black as its fur.

With only two main features in BEAST, that leaves plenty of time for hyjinx by puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. Plus, they’ve found lots of shorts, surely having you question your relationship with the family pet.

Horror Remix Presents… BIKER DOUBLE FEATURE

8:15pm – STONE  ($8.50)
10:30pm – ROAD RASH (Free)

Saturday May 21, 2011
Texas Theatre – Dallas

STONE (1974)
Last summer, in preparation for my motorcycle remix, ROAD RASH, I watched tons of crappy biker flicks. I had already found MAD FOXES, NIGHTMARE BEACH, and NIGHT SCHOOL, but I wanted to round out the show with legit biker clips to pull the whole show together. Without these authentic biker movie clips, I was afraid the show would feel like any other Horror Remix except with motorcycles.

I learned quickly that biker films almost always suck. I should have know from the beginning that this could be an issue since I’ve long thought EASY RIDER is the most overrated movie I’ve ever seen. Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but I think we can all agree, it doesn’t hold up well in 2011. And don’t even mention the dozens of EASY RIDER knock-offs that followed.

However, my problems didn’t stop there. On paper, you’d think WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS would be right up my alley. Although it does have some great scenes, as a whole, I can’t recommend it.

This journey, however rocky, wasn’t a complete lose. I found PINK ANGELS entertaining, ROAD OF DEATH awkwardly enjoyable, and PSYCHOMANIA simply amazing.

Which brings me to STONE (1974). This is the best biker movie I’ve ever seen (Quentin Tarantino agrees). After watching this film, I sat back, nodded my head, and said, ‘OK, now I get it.’ STONE isn’t just a bad-ass movie, but it illustrates biker culture perfectly. At least I feel like it does*.

The characters aren’t just dropouts for the sake of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll (although, doesn’t hurt). This gang has purpose. STONE allows us to be a voyeurs into this counter-culture and truly get into bikers’ heads. To me, that’s special.

All that said, STONE isn’t perfect. It has some slow spots and some of the acting is rough. Good news is you probably won’t care. It may have you fantasizing about giving the double-bird to your boss, starting a biker gang, and dropping out as well.

* full disclosure – I’ve never ridden a motorcycle

ROAD RASH
Nightmare Beach (1988), Mad Foxes (1982) and many biker trash clips; power-packed into 2 hours. Click here to learn more or watch the trailer below.