Horror Remix

Horror Remix: SHOPPING

admin — Thu, 03 May 2012 21:46:54 +0000

HORROR REMIX:

SHOPPING

2 Hours of Shopping Mall Slashers
Rated R – Free Admission

SCHEDULE:

Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Chicago (Wheaton) – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo Drafthouse (9pm)

Monday, June 4, 2012
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978) was the first film to draw parallels between the American consumer and modern zombie. The plot of zombies invading a shopping mall delivers a subversive attack on American consumer capitalism. 30 years later, Dawn is still just as relevant and regarded as a masterpiece. However, what more can be written or said regarding the importance of Dawn? There are already essays and websites written by much smarter people than me. So, I’ll focus this article on what I know best: teens being brutally murdered at the mall.

The shopping mall does make for a great setting in the slasher genre. A claustrophobic building scenario (later perfected by Die Hard), plus tons of resources for hiding places, escape routes, and tools for creative kills.

Plus, the shopping mall and horror genre make great companions. Both pander to teenagers with disposable income and are notorious for peddling cheap commodities. Each of the 3 films featured in SHOPPING make some veiled attempts to be satire, invoking consumerism, security, technology and progress. However, the half-hearted rhetoric is squeezed in to make the films more than they really are. Bottom line, the “trapped-in-the-mall” scenario is ripe for slicing and dicing teens in the 80s (similar to “lost-in-the-woods” in the 70s). Let’s leave the groundbreaking allegory to the rest, because slashers at the mall are the best!

The Initiation (1984)
A sorority’s initiation ritual forces pledges to break into a mall and stay overnight. The Initiation is a highly underrated film and the best of the mall slashers. The characters are well written and the ending has a nice payoff. Unfortunately, the “mall” they are trapped in is NOT a mall at all. It’s actually the Dallas World Trade Center. This can be somewhat distracting as you wonder, “Where’s the Orange Julius? Where’s the Chest King or Miller’s Outpost?” But no big deal, just a little odd…
Notable Actor: Daphne Zuniga (The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Melrose Place)

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)
Teenagers play a game of hide and seek overnight in a furniture store. Hide and Go Shriek will best be remembered for how incredibly horny the teenagers are. These people can’t keep their hands off each other. The over-the-top acting is the film’s best asset and we get one of the most realistic severed heads in horror history. Damn, it’s nasty…
Notable Actor: Sean Kanan (The Karate Kid, Part III)

Chopping Mall (1986)
A group of mall co-workers stay after closing for an all night party. Chopping Mall is a classic crowd-pleaser. A very rare sci-fi slasher peppered with 80s goofiness. As good as that sounds, you won’t be disappointed. And if you’ve already seen it, it’s even better with Chopping virgins and some beer.
Notable Actor: Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet)

So, that’s it. Horror Remix is taking the summer off, so this is the last show for awhile. Just make sure you stop by and sign our yearbook. And don’t forget, have a kick ass summer!

Horror Remix: SCHOOL

admin — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 20:48:15 +0000

HORROR REMIX:

SCHOOL

A 2 Hour Study Session of Death!
Rated R – Free Admission

SCHEDULE:

Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Scottsdale – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo Drafthouse (9pm)

Saturday, April 28, 2012
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

You know Horror Remix gets down with teenage-themed films from the 80s. All the John Hughes film are classics. There’s even John Hughes-like imitations that are worth our time. We’ll even stop down for the screwball boob flicks like School Spirit, Computer Beach Party, or Joysticks. That’s our thing.

So you can image our complete fulfillment when horror films prey on students in the lovely decade of the 80s. The world just seems right. Whether the killer is a student, a teacher, or the anti-christ, we don’t mind. Because teenagers are getting waxed. At school. And life is good.

Hell High (1989)
Shot in 1986 but not released until 1989, almost two years after the lead actor, Christopher Stryker, died of AIDS. Unfortunately, this was his only film. He plays the bad ass Dickens, a sinister student who will not take shit from you or anyone. And he’ll throw a hot dog at you to prove it.

I’ve been wanting to show this one for a long time. Totally unique.

Girls Nite Out (1984)
On paper, Girls Nite Out is not Horror Remix material. There’s NO boobies, only mild cussing, and the gore is very little. You may be thinking, ‘Hey Horror Remix, what gives?’ Well, let’s see… there is some HEAVY drinking and pot smoking… umm, interesting characters, and what else? Oh, the Lovin’ Spoonful does the soundtrack and Hal Holbrook plays a cop!

Still not convinced? Well, there is one more notable reason to see Girls Nite Out, but I don’t want to spoil the fun. If you already know what that is, don’t you want to hear what Cheesecake and Thunderclap have to say?

Fear No Evil (1981)
I remember this film when it first came out, but despite its glossy production, amazing soundtrack, and overall boldness, I feel like I’m the only one who does.
Why some films flourish while much better films get ignored will always be frustrating, but Fear No Evil only has itself to blame (generic title doesn’t help). It does have some fantastic scenes, unforgettable really. However, Fear No Evil has no identity and it’s constantly pulling in different directions. You go from the seedy high school scenes (featuring one of the best punk soundtracks in film history; Sex Pistols, Ramones, Talking Heads, B-52’s, Patti Smith) to bloated scenes of less interesting characters resolving religious issues (backed by over-the-top orchestral arrangements).

Basically, we have two different movies here that don’t jive. Some may prefer the detailed, Bible-sourced back story. I guess. But for me, I just want to see Satan at high school. For those who like both threads, you are among a very few. This is why this movie has failed at reaching cult status. Fear No Evil just doesn’t have an audience. The good news for you? This remix provides the bare minimum of church chat and 100% of high school debauchery.

Ready to go back to school? In only 2 hours, you get these three features and all the Horror Remix benchmarks including shorts, puppet epilogues, and Leftover Meat.

Horror Remix: SPRING

admin — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 17:49:21 +0000

HORROR REMIX:

SPRING

2 Hours of Springtime Terror!
Rated R – Free Admission

SCHEDULE:

Monday, March 26, 2012
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Scottsdale – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo Drafthouse (9pm)

Saturday, March 31, 2012
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

Do you see upcoming calendar events and fonding think about corresponding 80s slashers? If so, SPRING is the show for you.
Nothing complicated here. Just 80s slashers with all the major spring events covered (Easter, you’re safe).

Metaphorically, the holiday slasher is generally consistent with the importance of that particular holiday. The bigger the holiday, the better the slasher. Upon intial release the spring slashers were widely regarded as pale imitations of Black Christmas, Halloween, and My Bloody Valentine. While this is 100% true, Graduation Day, Memorial Valley Massacre, and Slaughter High have a place in this world. Nothing groundbreaking here. Just satisfying little slashers that go down easy with beer.

Graduation Day (1981)

If there was ever a film bridging the 70s to the 80s, here it is. The perfect metaphor is the film’s featured punk band, Felony (all gothed out with eyeliner and puffy shirts), performs while the crowd roller skates around them!

As a scary film Graduation Day is worthless. However, there’s nudity, good weed, bad rock, horny Linnea Quigley, and fantastic characters. Like the pot smoking couple who belittles a cop, the effeminate showtune-loving music teacher (who shockingly enough, likes the ladies), and the boozed-up father who throws the word “bitch” with buckets of piss and vinegar. Inspector Halliday (Carmen Argenziano) is hilarious and should have had more screen time. And the dialog is so quotable. I only wish there was more.

Graduation Day is so stoned. My God, the director is named Herb Freed! How cool is that? There’s a psychedelic haze over this film that may have you asking, ‘why did I stop smoking pot, again?’ Check out the slow-mo uneven bars gymnastic scene. Heavy.

So, what was cut? The chase/stalking scenes have been really cut down. And that’s about it. Those scene are a drag. They last forever and squander any goodwill the film had garnered up to that point. Really there’s only about 40 minutes of movie here, making this the perfect remix candidate.

Memorial Valley Massacre (1988)

WARNING: Actually, no warning. This film is pretty tame. Damn near PG. However, I think this is a damn fine film. Imagine Cha-ka from Land of the Lost on a killing spree and you get the idea. What more do you want?

How about a drunk park ranger, a black biker (I never knew), and a major cock-tease? She not only teases her camp mates, but I imagine back in 1988, a handful of 14 year olds weren’t too pleased with her nudity-free performance.

Now, for some true comedy, here’s the actual Reel Classic Films DVD press release for Memorial Valley Massacre:

Memorial Valley Massacre (1988) is widely considered to be one of the top 100 greatest classic films of all time. This great film will surely attract a whole new generation of classic movie fans. And for seasoned cinematic connoseuirs, Memorial Valley Massacre (1988) will rekindle an era of film making at its best. For others who simply enjoy watching timeless pieces with icons such as John Kerry; Mark Mears; John Caso, Memorial Valley Massacre (1988) is highly recommended. Re-released by Reel Classic Films this movie would make an ideal gift and it should be a part of everyone’s personal DVD library.

You’re right Reel Classic Films, this film is an ideal gift for everyone! And now it’s Horror Remix’s gift to you.

Slaughter High (1986) AKA April Fool’s Day

“Behind every great 80’s horror film is a BIG bag of coke” – Horror Remix

Carol: “Wanna toot?”
Skip: “Hey, that stuff costs”

More than you know, Skip. More than you know…

Slaughter High is the perfect fueled-by-cocaine movie. The music sucks. I mean, it really sucks. The characters are cocky. The clothing is ridiculous. There’s no writing. Basically, there’s not much film making going on here.

BUT… there’s explosions, motorcycle crashes, laced joints, creative special effects, boobs, melodrama, boom mikes, a holiday theme, and fake American accents. Yes, this is a British film trying to pass off as American, and when a anglo-asian girl tries to say ‘Come on you guys, let’s party’ with an American accent, it may be the weirdest human sound ever.

So why is this part of the ‘SPRING’ remix? Slaughter High’s working title was April Fool’s Day, but another horror classic under the same name was being released that same year.

Fun Facts: Plenty of interesting notes about this film (WIKI, IMDB)

So, there you have it. All the Spring holiday horror you could want. Plus, the Horror Remix benchmarks including shorts, puppet epilogues, and Leftover Meat.

Horror Remix: SPORTS!

admin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:06:48 +0000

HORROR REMIX:

SPORTS!

2 Hours of ‘Offensive’ 80s Horror
Rated R – Free Admission

SCHEDULE:

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Scottsdale, AZ – Studio Movie Grill ***PREMIERE*** (10pm)
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo Drafthouse (9pm)

Saturday, March 3, 2012
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

While most sports fans are about to experience post Super Bowl blues, Horror Remix is high-fiving tight ends and pounding tall boys. Wait… that came out wrong. Regardless, we like sports and more importantly horror films + sports! So, don’t be sad, friends. Horror Remix gots yo back with 2 hours of the most dangerous game; appalling sports-horror movies.

Fatal Games (1984)
“Winning isn’t everything, winning is the only thing.” – Fatal Games theme The theme song may feature a tired cliché by today’s standard, but in 1984 that may have been the inspirational push to “take it to the limit…” Horror Remix likes a kick ass, fist-pumping, motivational rock song to start a horror film. Graduation Day pulled it off with “Everybody Wants To Be A Winner” and now Fatal Games bookends their movie with “Take It All The Way” (soundtrack available on Saban Records and Tapes).

Fatal Games gives that something extra to push horror fans over the top. There is a ton of nudity, a couple of memorable kills and a finale that does, in fact, “take it all the way.” There is no plot. At all. And the character development isn’t a priority. So much so, that when athletes get waxed, I don’t remember exactly who they are. That’s fine. My only concern with Fatal Games is the lack of cussing. This is fucking unacceptable.

The Majorettes (1986)
S. William Hinzman only directed 2 films, The Majorettes and the zombie classic* FleshEater (1988). And although the 2 films are completely different, you can tell that they are made by the same director.

I can’t possible describe what makes his films unique. Maybe it’s the pace or the acting. But I think it’s a technical thing; the film stock’s grain. The tone of the audio. Not sure. It just feels comfortable. Like the smell of detergent in a blanket. It’s subtle, but there.

The Majorettes is a slasher. The Majorettes is a biker film. The Majorettes is an action film. Frankly, it’s a mess. This is cool with me, however, this is probably why it could never find a fan base. No one knew what it was. However, the important elements are here: weirdness, cheese and memorable moments.
*not really a classic

Killer Workout (1986)
Once you read the title, you already know what you’re in for. Pun horror titles usually deliver the 80s cheese (Chopping Mall, Hide and Go Shriek, Iced). If you like that sort of thing, this is the pinnacle of unintentional comedy.

This is the movie that started Horror Remix. Desperately wanting the world to see this film, yet knowing no reasonable person would sit through it. Killer Workout is a very boring movie with some of the greatest moments in film history. It’s a give-take. Killer Workout gives you 10 minutes of gold for 85 minutes of your life (remix is only 35 minutes).

The soundtrack is amazing. Probably the greatest soundtrack ever made… and there is no way I’m overselling that. Uplifting-disco-synth-r&b-pop. I’m thinking Pointer Sisters without a record deal. Saturday Night Fever can’t touch this.

Spandex, legwarmers, shower scenes, ‘roid rage and bodies stuffed in lockers. Killer Workout is what you hoped for, and more.

Bros! What else do I have to say? Grab yo sports buddies, sneak a keg in the theater, and let’s party!

A Very Horror Remix Thanksgiving

admin — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:56:59 +0000

Horror Remix: THANKSGIVING
2 Hours of Turkey Terror!

Rated R | Free Admission

Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm – now on Wednesdays)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo (9pm)

Saturday, November 19, 2011
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

The Horror Remix holiday trilogy is now complete. Christmas, Halloween, and now Thanksgiving.

When director Eli Roth created his faux trailer ‘Thanksgiving’ for GRINDHOUSE, he claimed his inspiration was to fill a void. All other holidays had at least one 80s slasher degrading it. All but Thanksgiving. Thankfully, Mr. Roth was dead wrong. There are actually two 80s Thanksgiving slashers; HOME SWEET HOME (1981) and BLOOD RAGE (1983). HOME SWEET HOME has some bizarre moments, but ultimately it’s a forgettable mess. Our main focus is the highly underrated BLOOD RAGE (aka NIGHTMARE AT SHADOW WOODS). This is a film that takes the slasher formula and executes it to perfection. It’s got great gore, nudity, cheese, cussing, drugs, and video games. Director John Grissmer doesn’t forget to add a touch of weirdness, giving the whole film a dark undertone. This formula seems too easy, unfortunately, slashers like this are all too rare.

BLOOD RAGE may not be my favorite slasher, but it’s definitely the film I’m most intrigued by. I would love to hear the complete back story. There is a scene where two guys are playing video games and guy #1 says, ‘I’m gonna beat you like a stepchild.’ Knowing the history of this film, this line feels painfully ironic.

From the BLOOD RAGE wikipedia page:

Although the film was shot in 1983, it was given only a limited release theatrically under the title, Nightmare at Shadow Woods in 1987. It was released on VHS the same year under the title, Blood Rage.

Nightmare at Shadow was heavily edited, abbreviating much of the gore of the original 1983 version. However, the 1987 VHS Blood Rage version by Prism Entertainment mentioned above is a different edit of the theatrical release of the same year. The Nightmare at Shadow Woods version is missing an early scene where Maddy visits Todd at the mental hospital, but includes a swimming pool scene not found in the Blood Rage version. The Blood Rage version has not been officially released on DVD as of September 2011.

There are actually a few more differences in the two that have nothing to do with gore. SHADOW WOODS randomly places leftover edits (or trimmings) from nude scenes already in the film and redistributes them out of context to the story’s timeline. My guess is the producers wanted to spread the nudity out a bit, unfortunately it’s just about the cheapest thing I’ve ever seen. And I love cheap, but this was obviously not the director’s decision, just a butcher job by a producer trying to make a boob quota.

There is also a make-out scene shot in two different ways. The BLOOD RAGE version is just standard making-out while the censored SHADOW WOODS becomes sexual assault. Just weird.

There’s a half dozen or so other edits that make each version unique, but nothing notable, outside the fact that someone felt they should be changed. Which, again, is weird.

And one more final thought. I believe the 1983 version has a totally different title. Both BLOOD RAGE and SHADOW WOODS title cards are obviously spliced into the film covering up a title already there. And the font and font colors of both titles don’t match the other opening credits. Unfortunately, the end credits don’t list any title, but do confirm it was made in 1983.

So the big questions are… Is there a 1983 version of BLOOD RAGE? And what happened between 1983-1987 that cause the film to be ‘beat like a stepchild.’ Aside from a horror miracle, this remix of BLOOD RAGE (combining the best material from both the DVD and VHS) is likely the most satisfying version you will ever see.

The second feature in THANKSGIVING is the wacked-out turkey classic, BLOOD FREAK (1972). A one-of-a-kind mess-terpiece, this film satisfies on every level. Drugs, bikinis, motorcycles, blood, and turkeys. And not to short change BLOOD FREAK on a description, but the less you know, the better. So don’t Bing it!

And don’t forget, after each feature snarky puppets, Cheesecake and Thunderclap, try to be funny.

Horror Remix UltraClassic: Zombies2

admin — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 21:55:48 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2
2 Hours of UnDead Madness!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo (9pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)

Thursday, October 27, 2011
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)

Saturday, October 29, 2011
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

ZOMBIES2 has been given the title UltraClassic for two reasons. Originally it screened 2 years ago only in Texas. It was the sequel to the very first theatrically screened HORROR REMIX. That show, ZOMBIES, had its moments, but it just doesn’t compare to what we do today. Appropriately, Z2 is when HORROR REMIX grew up. This show has stood the test of time and I’d imagine if you didn’t know better, you’d think this was a brand new offering. A lot of the trademark details that make HORROR REMIX started here.

The second reason Z2 has earned UltraClassic status is because I don’t think anyone’s seen it. It only screened in 4 theaters and that was the night before Halloween. What a terrible idea. I was competing with kick ass parties, free beer, and women dressed like whores. I’m surprised I went to the show. So, hopefully I picked a convenient date this time ‘round, because Z2 doesn’t fool around. This may be the last time it will ever be screened, so don’t miss it. Details below:

Horror Remix: ZOMBIES 2 from Edward John on Vimeo.

Yes, yes ya’ll. Zombie films. The formula is very simple; an environmental catastrophe occurs in the opening sequence and for the next 90 minutes, the living are trying to avoid a zombie attack. It’s a rock-solid formula that’s extremely popular, but unfortunately most zombie flicks lack an inspired punch. However, every few years someone dares to inject some life into a mostly stale genre. Not necessarily groundbreaking; it just seems the filmmaker gives a shit. Those are the zombie films we love. Just because zombie films are brain dead, doesn’t mean they can’t have heart.

The Video Dead (1987)
The Video Dead starts off with a wacky premise and presses on a path that is hilarious and occasionally frightening. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, The Video Dead should probably be considered a horror-comedy. Normally, Horror Remix finds this sub-genre repulsive. In trying to be both, they accomplish neither. But this is no cartoon like you may find in the Evil Dead series. The comedy lies in the weirdness of the premise and the wacked-out situations the characters find themselves in.

The Video Dead walks the fine line between comedy and horror like no other. Why this film succeeds while others fall flat, I can’t say. The biggest mystery is why this classic is not on DVD. Damn shame.

FleshEater (1988)
FleshEater is about as straight forward as a zombie film can be. From beginning to end this is a zombie blood bath and nothing more. No cool twists. No undercurrent of social commentary. No irony. However, with the obvious budget constraints, this bright-eyed film truly goes for it. It steps on the gas, blows it out, and never looks back.

FleshEater’s attempt to stick rigidly to the formula and play it simple somehow works. Maybe the entertainment lies in the casting of authentic locals and goofy-ass teenagers. Hey, this is classic 80s, plus it’s got a massive body count. There is no doubt that these guys put everything they had into this movie and you gotta love that.

Notable Actor: Bill Hinzman (Night of the Living Dead, the Majorettes) also writing and directing FleshEater!

And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

Horror Remix: HEALTH+CARE

admin — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 18:57:45 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… HEALTH+CARE
2 Hours of Medical Madness!

FREE ADMISSION

WED. SEPTEMBER 21, 2011
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

WED. SEPTEMBER 28, 2011
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Winchester, VA – Alamo (9pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)

THURS. SEPTEMBER 29, 2011
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Park North (10pm)

SAT. OCTOBER 1, 2011
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

WED. OCTOBER 5, 2011
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)

Visiting Hours (1982)
Visiting Hours is a Canadian thriller with hints of slasher elements. The acting is terrific and stalker Colt Hawker (Michael Ironside) is creepy as hell. The claustrophobic atmosphere and surprising cameo by William Shatner, make Visiting Hours an underrated film, despite its shortcomings (no boobs, no blood).

Hospital Massacre (1982)
A Valentine’s Day treat! Sliding comfortably into two horror sub-genres (medical slasher & valentine’s day slasher), Hospital Massacre is as ridiculous as it sounds. The opening sequence is a flashback to Valentine’s Day 19 years previous and puppy love is in the air. Fortunately for us, hearts get broken (literally).
Barbi Benton, 80s Playboy bunny and Hef’s former girlfriend, plays the final girl waiting for test results at the dankest hospital you’ve ever lit a cigarette in. Then, someone tries to kill her. Good enough for me.

The Last Slumber Party (1988)
Completely unrelated to the Slumber Party Massacre trilogy, The Last Slumber Party is a painfully cheap little gem; no boobs and all the kills are the same. However, if you can fight through the initial shock of seeing such a poor quality film, you’ll eventually get with the program and find many small rewards.

The only reason this film work is the likable characters. The girls are sweethearts, but they like to drink, cuss, smoke weed and fool around. These girls are great. And the dudes crashing the slumber party are so goofy. All these kids are hilarious and when they start getting waxed, it’s a bummer. One of the very few films when you want the characters to make it out alive.

The parking lot scene is solid gold. I’ve watched it about 15-20 times and it always makes me laugh. Throwing empties at the scooter-riding nerd, “Science”?! What else do you want?

Horror Remix Is Baked.

admin — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 19:13:03 +0000

Horror Remix Is Baked.
A VHS Mixtape of Trash Horror
Rated R – Free Admission

Monday, August 29
San Antonio – Alamo Park North (10pm)

Tuesday, August 30
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)

Wednesday, August 31
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Winchester – Alamo (9pm)

Thursday, September 1
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)

Saturday September 3
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

Horror Remix is always searching for the very best trash ever captured on film (or video). In search of inspiration for BAKED, we dumpster-dived in the alley behind the video store. And although we were neck-deep in the weird and wacky world of VHS horror, we only reached toward the wet and rusty bottom where forgotten cassettes were waiting to be rediscovered.

Horror Remix has combined these trash treasures into a quick-paced, mind-melting journey; an experiment sure to go horribly wrong.

Horror Remix Presents BOAT SHOW

admin — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 20:27:53 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… BOAT SHOW
2 Hours of Deadly Waters!
Rated R – Free Admission

Wednesday, July 20
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)

Thursday, July 21
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm)

Tuesday, July 26
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm)

Wednesday, July 27
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm)
Winchester – Alamo (9pm)
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm)

Thursday, July 28
San Antonio – Alamo Park North (10pm)

Saturday July 30
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm)

It’s summer and we’re all looking to beat the heat. Most people will take to an ocean or lake. Some will even enjoy the water on a boat. But if you think a boat ride is all fun and games, maybe you should reconsider. There’s a lot of danger lurking in those waters. Remember, there are safer ways to stay cool this summer. May we suggest a trip to an air conditioned theater? There you can beat the heat with a cold drink and see how truly dangerous a boat ride can be.

Cruel Jaws (1995)
I’m not very educated when it comes to mainstream films. I usually buy my DVDs at closeout stores (5 DVDs for 5 dollars)! So, when I read that Cruel Jaws actually includes stolen footage, music, dialogue, and storylines from other films, I was surprised. However, now that I’ve seen this film 4-5 times, it’s pretty obvious. But Horror Remix doesn’t think of Cruel Jaws as a rip-off, we prefer calling it ‘Greatest Hits.’

We don’t have the right to grandstand anyway. In fact, we are considering changing the Horror Remix bio to ‘heavily influenced by the remix groundbreaker, Cruel Jaws.’ Let’s face it, these guys were just trying to piece together an epic shark movie, legality be damned. Even though they utterly failed, give me Cruel Jaws over Jaws any day.

Barracuda (1978)
This movie took a hit because of its cheap marketing gimmick. Following the wake of very profitable underwater creature-features, Barracuda arrived with cool killer fish posters and trailers. Barracuda does deliver killer fish, but only for about 5 minutes. Honestly, it’s not even a horror film. So yeah, most people were disappointed.

Good news, though. This is a fun conspiracy movie, certainly pot-friendly in a X-Files meets Scooby Doo kinda way. And really, that’s the best thing to say about this movie. So get this straight; it’s not a horror film, there’s hardly any killer fish, no nudity, no gore, and only 2 boats. BUT… TRUST. This is a classic late 70s indie film, with a fun, original story.

With only two main features in BOAT SHOW, we’ve got plenty of goof-off time with puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. Plus boats, bikinis, monsters, slashers, more boats, and foreign shit. Now get in the boat!

Horror Remix Presents… BEAST

admin — Mon, 23 May 2011 22:29:24 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… BEAST
2 Hours of Evil Animals!
Benefits Local Animal Shelters
Rated R – Free admission, but cash donations encouraged.

Monday June 27
San Antonio – Alamo Park North (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)

Tuesday June 28
San Antonio – Alamo Westlakes (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)
Lawrence, KS – The Bottleneck (9pm – benefiting Fix Our Friends )

Wednesday June 29
Dallas – Studio Movie Grill / Royal (10pm – benefiting Texas Paw Prints)
Atlanta – Studio Movie Grill (10pm – benefiting Ahimsa House Inc.)
San Antonio – Alamo Stone Oak (10pm – benefiting Animal Defense League)
Houston – Alamo West Oaks (10pm – benefiting Homeless Pet Placement League)
Winchester – Alamo (new time, 9pm)
Austin – Alamo Lake Creek (10pm – benefiting Austin Humane Society)

Thursday June 30
Arlington – Studio Movie Grill (10pm – benefiting East Lake Pet Orphanage)

Saturday July 2
Katy, TX – Alamo Mason Park (10pm – benefiting Homeless Pet Placement League)

I’m very excited to announce the 1st Horror Remix benefit. I don’t have to tell you that when disaster strikes the world (earthquakes in Japan, tornados in Alabama and Missouri) donations to animal shelters run dry. Basically, good puppies and kitties need our help more than ever. Horror Remix is a fringe group, so it only makes sense to support smaller charities and since Horror Remix is always free, you should have plenty of bones for the donation jar.

Finding animal shelters to be involved was actually hard work. Horror Remix would like to thank Julie Leonard for rounding up the shelters involved. Trust me, most shelters don’t find much humor in ‘evil animal’ films (which is understandable) and many shelters turned us down. They didn’t even want our money! However, Julie wouldn’t give up and actually found some shelters that think this is really cool.

So, please bring cash to the show and support these great shelters. Not only are they doing important work for good puppies and kitties, but they’re also brave enough to team up with us. In return, we found a way to stay true to the Horror Remix name while ensuring that the films we chose did not depict any animal abuse and confirming that no animals were harmed in the making of these films.

So let’s raise tons of money and make the shelters who turned us down regretful.

HORROR REMIX PRESENTS… BEAST
The animal-attack genre has had a healthy history in the past 100 years, from the groundbreaking KING KONG (1933) to the instant cult-classic BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR (2008). The 1970’s was the pinnacle on the genre with a new fearful creature every year; pigs, frogs, piranha and of course, sharks. Horror Remix is obviously onboard with such insanity.

However, as much as we love the animal-attack genre, it’s just not enough for animals to administer a vengeance-fueled ass-kicking on man. That’s what wild animals do. Sharks, grizzlies, tigers, YES, they can eat you. Our interests our geared toward domestic animals. Pets. Pissed pets. Now, doesn’t that sound even better?

DEVIL DOG: THE HOUND OF HELL (1978)
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell director Curtis Harrington referred to it as “the worst TV-movie ever made.” OK, so maybe it’s a horror film that’s not scary. Big deal. Thirty-two years after its original airing on Halloween night 1978, this film is still delivering the goods.

‘TV-movie’ is important to note, simply because it helps create the context. DEVIL DOG looks like THE BRADY BUNCH or EIGHT IS ENOUGH. It feels so safe and sweet. So, when shit starts to go down, even the smallest incident feels surreal, almost inappropriate. I’m not going to pretend this movie pushed the envelope or anything, but I can say DEVIL DOG is pure entertainment.

THE UNCANNY: QUEBEC (1977)
I was shocked to learn our friendly Canadians had cooked up a horror anthology about cats. CATS? Yes, cats. You may be saying, ‘Hey Horror Remix! They made horror films about frogs and rabbits, why not cats?’ True, but those frogs and rabbits were wild animals. And frogs, although mostly cute, can sometimes look gross. Cats are different. They live with us. They’re our family members. I have two cats. One is super fat and gets nervous around toddlers. The other is kind of a bad-ass, kills snakes and shit, but again, scared of toddlers. There is a reason for the term ’scaredy cat’ or that cowards are called ‘pussies.’ So, you can see why I was thrilled to watch not just one, but three cat-horror vignettes, all of which feature pissed off kitties.

The first short, LONDON, is a solid, gothic Hammer throwback. It’s very well done, but it’s not a crowd-pleaser that Horror Remix likes to cater to. The last short, LOS ANGELES is playing for laughs, so it has no edge and it’s just not funny. However, QUEBEC, the juicy meat of THE UNCANNY sandwich, is remix gold. Some reviews will claim QUEBEC is the worst of the vignettes, but don’t take that as a bad thing. Wellington the Cat may look sweet, but its heart is as black as its fur.

With only two main features in BEAST, that leaves plenty of time for hyjinx by puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. Plus, they’ve found lots of shorts, surely having you question your relationship with the family pet.

Horror Remix Presents… BIKER DOUBLE FEATURE

admin — Mon, 02 May 2011 20:08:55 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… BIKER DOUBLE FEATURE

8:15pm – STONE ($8.50)
10:30pm – ROAD RASH (Free)

Saturday May 21, 2011
Texas Theatre – Dallas

STONE (1974)
Last summer, in preparation for my motorcycle remix, ROAD RASH, I watched tons of crappy biker flicks. I had already found MAD FOXES, NIGHTMARE BEACH, and NIGHT SCHOOL, but I wanted to round out the show with legit biker clips to pull the whole show together. Without these authentic biker movie clips, I was afraid the show would feel like any other Horror Remix except with motorcycles.

I learned quickly that biker films almost always suck. I should have know from the beginning that this could be an issue since I’ve long thought EASY RIDER is the most overrated movie I’ve ever seen. Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but I think we can all agree, it doesn’t hold up well in 2011. And don’t even mention the dozens of EASY RIDER knock-offs that followed.

However, my problems didn’t stop there. On paper, you’d think WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS would be right up my alley. Although it does have some great scenes, as a whole, I can’t recommend it.

This journey, however rocky, wasn’t a complete lose. I found PINK ANGELS entertaining, ROAD OF DEATH awkwardly enjoyable, and PSYCHOMANIA simply amazing.

Which brings me to STONE (1974). This is the best biker movie I’ve ever seen (Quentin Tarantino agrees). After watching this film, I sat back, nodded my head, and said, ‘OK, now I get it.’ STONE isn’t just a bad-ass movie, but it illustrates biker culture perfectly. At least I feel like it does*.

The characters aren’t just dropouts for the sake of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll (although, doesn’t hurt). This gang has purpose. STONE allows us to be a voyeurs into this counter-culture and truly get into bikers’ heads. To me, that’s special.

All that said, STONE isn’t perfect. It has some slow spots and some of the acting is rough. Good news is you probably won’t care. It may have you fantasizing about giving the double-bird to your boss, starting a biker gang, and dropping out as well.

* full disclosure – I’ve never ridden a motorcycle

ROAD RASH
Nightmare Beach (1988), Mad Foxes (1982) and many biker trash clips; power-packed into 2 hours. Click here to learn more or watch the trailer below.

Spring Break

admin — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 17:26:53 +0000

Cheesecake was practicing some kick-ass wizard spells and accidently turned Thunderclap into a pear. We are taking a break and we’ll be back in June (May for Dallas). We ask you to please respect the privacy of Thunderclap and his family during this difficult time.

Horror Remix Presents… RUSH

admin — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 20:48:14 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… RUSH
2 Hours of Sorority Slashers!
RATED R – FREE ADMISSION

Wednesday March 23, 10PM
Austin (Alamo Lake Creek)

Thursday March 24, 10PM
San Antonio (Alamo Stone Oak)

Tuesday March 29, 10PM
San Antonio (Alamo Westlakes)

Wednesday March 30, 10PM
Atlanta (Studio Movie Grill)
Dallas (Studio Movie Grill)
Houston (Alamo West Oaks)
Winchester, VA (Alamo Drafthouse)

Thursday March 31, 10PM
Katy, TX(Alamo Mason Park)
San Antonio (Alamo Park North)
Arlington, TX (Studio Movie Grill)

RUSH was the first remix theme picked without having a good idea which films I was going to show. But, knowing there were tons of fraternity / sorority horror films to choose from, the big question was “How will I choose only 3 films?” Well, apparently that wasn’t a problem.

First, let me show you all 14 films I saw preparing for this screening.

Dreamaniac
Sorority House Massacre
Sorority House Massacre 2
Killer Party
Pledge Night
Hell Night
Blood Sisters
House on Sorority Row
Silent Madness
Rush Week
Sisters of Death
Final Exam
Night of the Creeps
Happy Hell Night

Looking at that list of films, a trash film fan may think they are on the brink of awesomeness. No. This experience was far from awesome. More like work…really boring work. None the less, after 20 plus hours of video dumpster diving, I did find 2 hours of gold you are sure to enjoy.

First, I want to give a few dishonorable mentions to the films left out of the screening, aka Leftover Meat™. First, a big “bite my ass” to my nemesis, Dreamaniac (1986), for being boring and uninspired filmmaking. And for me, those are the worst adjectives to use for a film. I’ve always said behind every good horror film is a big bag of coke. Unfortunately, this theory only works if the filmmakers spend the movie budget on the movie, not the drugs. The whole damn thing takes place in an apartment and you can just imagine no one left the building during the whole shoot. Another dishonorable mention goes to Blood Sisters. Painfully boring. I dare anyone to watch this without hitting the >> button. Let’s move on to the good stuff…

Night of the Creeps is actually a perfect 80s horror film. I wouldn’t touch it. Highly recommend everyone check this out.

Final Exam, Rush Week, Pledge Night and Happy Hell Night all have something good to offer. But, I decided to scratch all the fraternity films (obvious reasons). The rest of the selections will be featured in RUSH at some capacity and featuring these 3 classics…

Killer Party (1986)
Killer Party never had a chance. While filming in the early 80s, the studio pulled the plug. A few years later they finished filming, supposedly cut out all the gore and released it in theaters. Around 1986, it was released on VHS, still cut. And that was that…what a cursed movie.

More than any movie, you can feel the juggling from one producer to the next. One director to the next. The beginning is a perfect example. Because of 2 fake openings sequences (a-drive-in-movie-within-a-music-video-within-a-movie) the actual film doesn’t start for 10 minutes (in a 91 minute movie)! It’s obvious these false starts are just leftovers from the earlier failed production.

The remaining 80 minutes feels like 3 different films. Same plot, same characters, but you can just feel the gears shift. First section is a screwball comedy, complete with hot tub babes and horny frat boys. This is very good. However, an hour goes by and there is no evidence that Killer Party is a horror film. Every time they build the suspense, the payoff is an impossible to conceive April Fool’s prank, which would be cool in a screwball comedy. But in a slasher, the film needs to deliver bloody bodies by the hour mark.

Next, the slasher section begins… and it sucks. As stated before, the only release of this film is believed to be heavily censored. Who knows, this section could have been insane, especially considering the murder weapons include a hammer, spear, trident(!) and guillotine. But the constant cut-aways are frustrating and you just know the next victim will be you; death by a kick to the peanuts. Finally, 10 minutes left and I start to feel something… Is this a touch of fear I’m experiencing? Hey wait, a horror film has broken out! Finally!

Notable Actor: Elaine Wilkes (Sixteen Candles)

Hell Night (1981)
This is a classy, big budget horror film. Really well filmed, beautiful sets and costumes. Nice, lush soundtrack too. Horror Remix disapproves of this. Thankfully, on the heels of Friday the 13th, the influence of the cheap-thrills-teen-slasher occasionally appears (which I believe was because of studio pressure – hey, “the man” was right)!

The only time this movie jumps off is when it dives in the gutter; sex, booze, pills and a few good kills really work, especially in the context of a well made film.

Notable Actor: Linda Blair (The Exorcist)
Notable Writer: Randy Feldman (Tango & Cash)

The House on Sorority Row (1983)
Just yesterday Horror Remix received the news that The House on Sorority Row was being remade. On top of that, the film drops Sept 11th, two days after this screening. For a couple of hours I started thinking about what film I would use to replace The House on Sorority Row. I just didn’t want anyone to think Horror Remix was associated with, or capitalizing on the remaking of this film. Frankly, I ‘m surprised this film is being remade. Oh well, I’m still going to screen the original. Maybe this will deter a handful of people from seeing the remake. If that happens, then I’ll be glad I stuck with it.

The House on Sorority Row is a really cool and clever film. Plus, sexy ladies, beautiful sets and lighting. It looks amazing. The only criticism is the pace. It’s really, really slow. That won’t be a problem on the remix. You may want to see the rest someday.

Notable Actor: Eileen Davidson (The Young and the Restless)

So, bring your friends and party with your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK Part 2

admin — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 17:52:09 +0000

2 More Hours of Heavy Metal Horror!
FREE Admission – Rated R

Wednesday February 23, 10PM
Atlanta (Studio Movie Grill)
Austin (Alamo Lake Creek)
Dallas (Studio Movie Grill)
Houston (Alamo West Oaks)
Winchester, VA (Alamo Drafthouse)

Thursday February 24, 10PM
San Antonio (Alamo Westlakes, Stone Oak, Park North)
Arlington, TX (Studio Movie Grill)

I like heavy metal, but I need something to go with it. Although beer is my preferred compliment, a close second has to be horror films. If you have all three, that’s fantastic… BUT, as great as this combination is, there is one side effect; you’re going to hell.

Since you were young, adults have been telling you that rock music is corroding your soul and horror films have been bankrupting your morals. Well, Horror Remix has proof that they were right*. While we can’t be responsible for what happens to your soul, he can make sure you have fun before you are condemned to eternal damnation. That why we bring you Death Rock Part Two. This trash is just too awesome to be crammed into one show. Plus, the Horror Remix focus group has deemed the rock-horror genre to be a winning combo.

In BLACK ROSES (1988) director John Fasano (ROCK ‘N’ ROLL NIGHTMARE) proves that lightning can indeed strike twice, creating his second rock-horror film in as many years. SCREAM DREAM (1989) is a shot-on-video mess that looks absolutely terrible, but somehow keeps me coming back. Sometimes magic happens in filmmaking, even if it was shot with a VHS camcorder. But that’s just the main features. We’ve got almost a dozen shorts to feast on that will surely melt your face off.

It’s always possible there could be a Death Rock trilogy, but I’m pretty sure we’ve scraped the bottom of the barrel, leaving nothing else. Basically, the equivalent of Sunday afternoon garage sale shopping. There is stuff left, but nobody wants it (not even us)!

So, come enjoy BLACK ROSES, SCREAM DREAM, and tons of 70s and 80s shorts, oddities and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

* Death Rock Part Two features murder, drugs, rock, sex, suicide, kidnapping, nazis, boobies, black magic, blasphemy, poo poo, STDs, violence, adult subject matter, and strong language.

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK PART ONE

admin — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 19:35:32 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK PART ONE
2 Hours of Heavy Metal Horror
Free Admission – Rated R

WEDNESDAY JAN. 26, 10PM
ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
Winchester, VA
STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Dallas (Royal)
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)

THURSDAY JAN. 27, 10PM
ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
San Antonio (Stone Oak)
San Antonio (Park North)
STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Arlington, TX

SATURDAY JAN. 29, 10PM
ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Katy, TX (Mason Park)

SUNDAY JAN. 30, 10PM
ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
San Antonio (Westlakes)

The music your parents wanted you to burn! The movies the government restricted you from seeing! Together at last!!!

Horror Remix is prepared to kick your ass. DEATH ROCK: Part One explores a marriage made in hell, horror-rock. Now, if you’re expecting a night filled with chills and scares, forget it. The test of time has deemed the horror rock genre as less than frightening. Horror Remix is fine by that. Our objective is to kick your ass and have fun while doing it. And these films deliver on both counts.

The first horror rock film I ever saw was Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987 aka The Edge of Hell). This might be the best. Other heavy metal horror movies stand close, but they lack the superstar presents of Jon Mikl Thor (also the writer). Thor stars as Triton, the lead singer of metal band The Tritonz who venture to a Canadian farmhouse to rehearse for the new album. Not much rehearsing is going on, because band members and groupies keep disappearing.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare was shot in only 7 days, but it doesn’t show. Everything about this film is ambitious considering the restrictions. The rock is catchy and fun. The FX are cartoony. The overall vibe is wonderfully cheesy.

The second film in our double bill is Trick or Treat (1986). A film that could’ve easily faded into obscurity if it weren’t for the cameos by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osborne. Probably wouldn’t have been released on DVD if it weren’t for the marketing power of those two. Trick or Treat is basically The Karate Kid. Dude gets picked on by cool blonde guy. Dude exacts revenge in an unorthodox way. Dude gets hot chick and learns valuable life lessons. But Trick or Treat also shows boobs, plays evil records backwards and features a pretty kick ass soundtrack by Fastway (Motörhead / Flogging Molly members).

Instead of a third film, we’ve filled the rest of the screening with rock shorts from the likes of Hell’s Bells, Heavy Metal Parking Lot and Hard Rock Zombies.

- full disclosure – I know nothing about heavy metal

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

admin — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:15:03 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

2 Hours of Holiday Slashers
Thursday, December 23rd 10PM
FREE Admission | Rated R

TEXAS THEATRE
Dallas (Oak Cliff)

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)

More shows added soon…

Start a holiday tradition like no other. Three holiday horror classics sliced and diced down to a power-packed 2 hours. Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Iced (1988)
This straight-to-video snow ski slasher is a special little film; and much like skiing, this thing is best when drunk or stoned. Iced is the type of movie that get better with repeated viewings. If that’s the criteria for a great film, this might be a masterpiece-of-shit.

In terms of traditional filmmaking, it does everything wrong. However, for a slasher film, it does everything right. When these two polarizing forces collide, a huge explosion occurs and cocaine rains down on the entire film… Iced is born. Don’t eat the red snow.

Christmas Evil (1980)
A really great, well made film, even with its ridiculous premise and even more ridiculous ending. Basically, Christmas Evil is a character study of a righteous man slowly going insane, and eventually believing he’s Santa Claus. This innocent delusion suddenly becomes dangerous and naysayers who don’t believe get waxed.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987)
This movie gets universally dogged for being one of the great rip-offs in film history. And rightfully so. Almost half of its runtime are clips from the first film! It’s shameless; yet awesome. You see, SNDN 2 essentially makes the original obsolete. All the good stuff from the first is here, plus new stuff. The combination of the two creates one of the largest body counts I’ve ever seen.

If you don’t treat the original like sacred art, you’re sure to enjoy this money grab. Terrible acting. Groan inducing one-liners. Unique kills. This is a really fun movie and a true crowd-pleaser.

Horror Remix Presents… HALLOWEEN

admin — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 21:42:26 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… HALLOWEEN
2 Hours of Terrifying Treats

Wednesday, October 20th 10pm
Free Admission
Rated R

This is the last new show of the year

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Dallas (Royal)
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)

SCREENLAND
Kansas City (Armour)

Back in 2007, Horror Remix had its first public show at a small bar in Dallas called the Cavern. There were about 20 people and 15 of them were my friends (very similar to seeing a local band).

Things have changed a lot since that gig. Mainly, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. I recently watched the Epilogues from that show and it was embarrassing. Cheesecake sounded drunk (probably was) and Thunderclap only repeats lines from the movie. Not funny.

The reason I reflect on this show was because this ‘new’ Horror Remix has two of the films from that Cavern show. This time I’ve added Hollowgate, I’ve re-remixed the other films with the tricks I’ve learned in 3 years and Cheesecake and Thunderclap have cut new Epilogues (funny not guaranteed).

Looking back, the original Cavern show was pretty bad. Hopefully this re-remix will still be good in 2013.

Hack-O-Lantern (1988)
AKA Halloween Night
This out-of-print gem is just ridiculous. It falls into my favorite category of the horror genre: PUN horror. When the title of the film is a pun, without exception, wonderful 80s cheese awaits (I’m looking at you Killer Workout, Iced, Hide and Go Shriek). I seriously don’t know what’s going on, yet I don’t care. I’m laughing. Hack-O-Lantern gives you everything you want in a trash film and more.

Night of the Demons (1988)
This film will probably be remembered for being one of the last good horror films of the 80’s. I imagine if you’re reading this, you’ve at least heard of it. I think they made a trilogy and a straight-to-DVD remake comes out this month. No thanks. I’m good.

This film teeters between good / bad. Meaning, when it’s developing characters, it falls into the cliches of 80s-ness which is fun. And when it tries to be creepy, it succeeds. The effects are great and the soundtrack is even better.

Hollowgate (1988)
I like to imagine back in 1986, a young Ray Di Zazzo said, ‘Fuck it. I’m making a movie.’ He creates Hollowgate and then disappears.

Some of my favorite horror films were created by people who made only one movie. Whether the director leaves showbiz because they created their masterpiece the first go-round (Primer is my favorite example) or realized they were over their heads and walked away. Either way, we win. So, which category does Hollowgate fall in, masterpiece or mess? I don’t think anyone knows.

Finally, don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… ROAD RASH

admin — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:00:55 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… ROAD RASH
2 Hours of Motorcycle Madness

Rated R

Wednesday, September 22th 10pm
Free Admission!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)
Dallas (Royal)

SCREENLAND
Kansas City (Crossroads)

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

We have a problem, folks. A plague of scumbags are invading our cities, corrupting our children and smoking our marijuana cigarettes. No, not skateboarders. BIKERS!

When preparing ROAD RASH, the main features were locked in, however, I still needed some material for shorts. I started poking around the internet looking for obscure bikers films. This was an interesting experiment for me, because I don’t like motorcycles. I don’t like biker culture. And I especially don’t like biker movies. Or so I thought…

Bleeding Skull had some interesting reviews of biker oddities so I gave them a shot. Then I found some more stuff. And more stuff. In the end, I discovered three things:

the greatest biker movie of all time is Stone
a new appreciation and understanding of biker culture
and most importantly, I had tons of material for ROAD RASH

So, now ROAD RASH is two main features and a parade of biker shorts. This is an explosive and highly offensive show. Please, don’t bring your mom.

Nightmare Beach (1988)
Not nearly scary enough to pacify most horror fans, but who cares? A scary horror film is a good horror film.

And we don’t like good.

Nightmare Beach delivers the cheeseball trash we crave. It’s spring break so, you know the beer and boobs be flowin’. Bikini clad bitches are getting electrocuted by a mysterious (not to mention stylish) biker dude and everyone is pissed. Even the mayor! How will this terror ever be resolved? Thankfully, director Umberto Lenzi (Ghosthouse) gives us a very satisfying ‘Scooby-Doo’ resolution.

Mad Foxes (1982)
Although this is not a horror film, the content found in this Spanish exploitation flick is horrific. Mad Foxes packs a sleazy, nasty and violent punch. It’s extreme in every aspect. The bad English dubbing, extremely funny. The hero, extremely douchey. The soundtrack, extremely diverse (80s metal Krokus, electro-disco, jazz swing, saxy smooth jazz). The nudity, extremely liberal. And most shocking of all, the art direction and cinematography, extremely well done. Mad Foxes will take you through a full range of emotion within the first 5 minute and by the end, you feel like you’ve seen everything (and some things you wish you could unsee). Mad Foxes is an unforgettable, highly entertaining piece of trash. And I hope your children never see it.

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! We’ve had sell-outs this summer and I don’t want the true fans to get shut out. So, please arrive 9:30pm at the latest!!! Finally, don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… Shopping

admin — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:54:14 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… SHOPPING
2 Hours of Shopping Mall Slashers
Rated R

Wednesday, August 25th 10pm (9:30pm Kansas City)
Free Admission!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)
Dallas (Royal)
Kansas City (9:30 PM!!!)

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

Plus, the shopping mall and horror genre make great companions. Both pander to teenagers with disposable income and are notorious for peddling cheap commodities. Each of the 3 films featured in Shopping make some veiled attempts to be satire, invoking consumerism, security, technology and progress. However, the half-hearted rhetoric is squeezed in to make the films more than they really are. Bottom line, the “trapped-in-the-mall” scenario is ripe for slicing and dicing teens in the 80s (similar to “lost-in-the-woods” in the 70s). Let’s leave the groundbreaking allegory to the rest, because slashers at the mall are the best!

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… SPORTS

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 04:00:46 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… SPORTS
2 Hours of ‘Offensive’ Horror
Rated R

Wednesday, July 14th 10PM
Free Admission!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Atlanta (Holcomb Bridge)
Dallas (Royal)
Kansas City (9:30 PM!!!)

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

Horror Remix Presents… SPORTS from Edward John on Vimeo.

July 14th is the only day of 2010 with no professional sporting events. It’s the day after the MLB All-Star game and the baseball players are still off. All the other major sports are off season. So, what’s a sports fan to do? Hang out with their family? Hell no. Horror Remix gots yo back with 2 hours of the most dangerous game: appalling sports-horror movies.

Fatal Games (1984)
“Winning isn’t everything, winning is the only thing.” – Fatal Games theme

The theme song may feature a tired cliché by today’s standard, but in 1984 that may have been the inspirational push to “take it to the limit…” Horror Remix likes a kick ass, fist-pumping, motivational rock song to start a horror film. Graduation Day pulled it off with “Everybody Wants To Be A Winner” and now Fatal Games bookends their movie with “Take It All The Way” (soundtrack available on Saban Records and Tapes).

Fatal Games gives that something extra to push horror fans over the top. There is a ton of nudity, a couple of memorable kills and a finale that does, in fact, “take it all the way.” There is no plot. At all. And the character development isn’t a priority. So much so, that when athletes get waxed, I don’t remember exactly who they were. That’s fine. My only concern with Fatal Games is the lack of cussing. This is fucking unacceptable.

Spandex, legwarmers, shower scenes, ‘roid rage and bodies stuffed in lockers. Killer Workout is what you hoped for, and more.

Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 16:28:01 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY
4 Evil Puppets In 2 Hours!

Wednesday, June 16th 10PM
Free Admission!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL
Dallas (Royal)
Kansas City (9:30 PM!!!)

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE
Austin (Lake Creek)
Houston (West Oaks)
San Antonio (Westlakes)
Winchester, VA

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY from Edward John on Vimeo.

Horror Remix kicks off the summer with a no-brainer. The most under appreciated class in the horror genre; the evil doll flick. Why are dolls, dummies, mannequins and puppets so creepy? Is it because they are lifeless vessels for evil to lurk or is it our own psychosis that projects life and personality into a dummy made from wood, plastic or fabric? Regardless, these bastards are scary.

Dolls have long been a staple of the horror genre going back as far as 1937 with The Devil-Doll. Several important actors and directors have had dalliances with the possessed puppet. Anthony Hopkins played a schizophrenic ventriloquist in Magic (1978). Alfred Hitchcock and Rod Sterling both featured an evil dummy in their television shows (Alfred Hitchcock Presents… and The Twilight Zone respectively). Steven Spielberg wrote Poltergeist (1982) which features a creepy clown doll. The evil doll genre’s mainstream heyday was probably in the late eighties with the emergence of Chucky (Child’s Play) and The Puppetmaster Series (1989-2004). But these blockbusters were mere “child’s play” compared to the originality cooked up by independent and foreign filmmakers in the seventies and eighties.

The one exception being the made-for-TV shocker Trilogy of Terror (1975); three short stories linked together by actress Karen Black performing the lead role in each short. The third story, Amelia, is the focus here. The story is very simple, a Zuni fetish doll terrorizes Karen Black in her apartment. Being a primetime television broadcast, this evil bastard was on display for every innocent child to see. So laugh all you want tough guy, but back in 1975 this little fetish doll gave children across America nightmares for years.

A shining example of the evil doll genre in the independents is the mind-bending blaxploitation movie, Black Devil Doll from Hell (1984). Chester Turner’s no-budget underground classic is truly unforgettable. The shot-on-video “ghosting” from multiple generations of VHS tape editing along with the repetitive drum machine beats for the soundtrack give this film a homespun surrealism that can’t be matched. Actress Shirley Jones gives a genuine performance especially considering she is sharing leads with a doll rocking braids and beads. Even with its sever limitations and lack of resources, this is serious filmmaking, not the black comedy of boring jokesters like Chucky.

In Ghosthouse (1988), Italian horror legend Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal Ferox) combined two childhood fixtures into one; the clown doll. Because of the extreme violence of his earlier films, Lenzi’s Ghosthouse is considered a fall from grace by hardcore gore hounds. And yes, this film is perfectly goofy and ridiculous featuring many horror stereotypes. But it’s still a unique and odd contribution to the genre. Lenzi seems to play like Quentin Tarantino, pulling ideas and inspiration from all corners of the horror realm. Although the clown doll is just a small part of the evil infested throughout the ghosthouse, he is the star. On a final note, Ghosthouse has an odd assortment of alternative titles including an informal link to the Evil Dead series (Evil Dead 3, La Casa 3, House Of Doom).

The clown doll was apparently stolen from the Poltergeist props department.
Left: Poltergeist (1982) Right: Ghosthouse (1988)

Finally, our Canadian brothers offer up PIN… (1988) based on a novel by Andrew Neiderman. PIN… (short for Pinnochio) is a transparent medical mannequin with exposed organs and tissues. A doctor’s son develops a very real relationship with the educational tool. This is a creepy little film which features a shocking scene in the doctor’s office.

Check you brain at the door, with 4 wonderfully diabolic dolls. An evil clown puppet, a possessed dummy, a terrorizing fetish doll and a creepy mannequin. Are they inhabited by evil or representations of our own darkness?

Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… SPRING

admin — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:11:24 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… SPRING
2 Hours of Springtime Terror!

Wednesday, April 28th 10pm
Free Admission!!!

Horror Remix Presents… SPRING from Edward John on Vimeo.

NOW IN KANSAS CITY!
Studio Movie Grill
Kansas City (Zona Rosa)

Studio Movie Grill
Dallas (Royal)
(Unfortunately, no show in Addison)

Alamo Drafthouse
San Antonio (Westlakes)

Alamo Drafthouse
Winchester, VA

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Graduation Day (1981)

If there was ever a film bridging the 70s to the 80s, here it is. The perfect metaphor is the film’s featured band, Felony all gothed out with eyeliner & puffy shirts, while the crowd roller skates around them!

As a scary film Graduation Day is worthless. However, there’s nudity, good weed, bad rock, horny Linnea Quigley and fantastic characters. Like the pot smoking couple who belittles a cop, the effeminate showtune-loving music teacher (who shockingly enough, likes the ladies) and the boozed-up father who throws the word “bitch” with buckets of piss and vinegar. Inspector Halliday (Carmen Argenziano) is hilarious and should have had more screen time. And the dialog is so quotable. I only wish there was more.

Graduation Day is so stoned. My God, the director is named Herb Freed! How cool is that? There’s a psychedelic haze over this film that may have you asking, ‘why did I stop smoking pot, again?’ Check out the slow-mo uneven bars gymnastic scene. Heavy.

So, what was cut? The chase/stalking scenes have been really cut down. And that’s about it. Those scene are a drag. They last forever and squander any goodwill the film had garnered up to that point. Really there’s only about 40 minutes of movie here, making this the perfect remix candidate.

Memorial Valley Massacre(1988)
aka Valley of Death

Now, for some true comedy, here’s the actual Reel Classic Films DVD press release for Memorial Valley Massacre:

You’re right Reel Classic Films, this film is an ideal gift for everyone! And now it’s Horror Remix’s gift to you.

Slaughter High (1986)
aka April Fool’s Day

“Behind every great 80’s horror film is a BIG bag of coke” – Horror Remix

Carol: “Wanna toot?”
Skip: “Hey, that stuff costs”

More than you know, Skip. More than you know…

BUT… there’s explosions, motorcycle crashes, laced joints, creative special effects, boobs, melodrama, boom mikes, a holiday theme and fake American accents. Yes, this is a British film trying to pass off as American, and when a anglo-asian girl tries to say ‘Come on you guys, let’s party’ with an American accent, it may be the weirdest human sound ever.

When I first watch Slaughter High it was from a terrible VHS tape. The chase scenes were unwatchable. You couldn’t see anything. Then, in 2009 it was finally released on DVD, but it was from a VHS transfer. The quality was still terrible. Fortunately, just a few months ago, a French distributor drop a beautiful widescreen version and it is awesome. So, if you’ve seen Slaughter High, this will be the first time you can actually see it. Thank you internet!

So why is this part of the ‘SPRING’ remix? Slaughter High’s working title was April Fool’s Day, but another horror classic under the same name was being released that same year.

Fun Facts: Plenty of interesting notes about this film (WIKI, IMDB)

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

Horror Remix Presents… Everything Is Terrible!

admin — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:40:24 +0000

THE BEST OF EIT!
STUDIO MOVIE GRILL DALLAS – ROYAL
MARCH 18, 10PM
$9.25

Remember when video stores were on every block, no matter how small the city? Every town had at least one gas station and a video store (in my case, they were the same thing). You had the well traveled New Release section or Action/Adventure or even Family or Comedy. However, every once in a while you couldn’t find the movie you really wanted to rent.

Was it checked out?

Maybe it was put in the wrong section?

You begin to scan every VHS box, fast-walking down every row, every section. Then, something begins to feel strange. You’ve entered a section of the video store that no one EVER goes. The VHS boxes are dusty and faded by the sun. They look old, but somehow have never been opened. Instructional videos, workout videos, religious videos all wrangled into the Miscellaneous section. Oh no! Not the Miscellaneous section!

The blog Everything is Terrible! is the Miscellaneous section of the internet. They are a collective of video dumpster-divers who travel to world of garage sales, thrift stores and flea markets searching for obscure, weird and wacky VHS tapes. But that is only half the genius of EIT! They then have to actually watch this trash and edit it down to only the very best moments. There is a certain rhythm to their editing that displays a true understanding of comedic timing; trash in the hands of experts.

As much fun as it is to watch mind-melting video trash on your computer, I have a feeling it’s even better in a crowded theater with friends and beer. Horror Remix is proud to bring The Best of EIT! to Dallas at Studio Movie Grill – Royal.

And here’s a list of other upcoming shows nationwide…

ALBQUERQUE, NM
THE GUILD CINEMA
APRIL 2, 10:30 PM

TUSCON, AZ
THE LOFT CINEMA
APRIL 3, 9pm

PROVIDENCE, RI
CABLE CAR CINEMA
MAY 1, 7:00 & 9:30 PM

Free Health Care!

admin — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:27:52 +0000

The government can’t provide free health care, but your ol’ pals at Horror Remix has the cure for all your ills. Not free drugs (BYOD), but free laughs!

Laughter is the best medicine and we have plenty for you to smile about. Three ridiculous medical horror films, shorts and puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. So bad, it’s good!

Horror Remix Presents… Health Care
2 Hours of Medical Madness!

Wednesday, February 10th, 10pm
FREE!!!

NOW IN SAN ANTONIO!
Alamo Drafthouse
San Antonio (Westlakes)

Alamo Drafthouse
Winchester, VA

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Horror Remix Presents… Health Care

admin — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:39:48 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… Health Care
2 Hours of Medical Madness!

Wednesday, February 10th, 10pm
FREE!!!

Horror Remix Presents… Health Care from Edward John on Vimeo.

NOW IN SAN ANTONIO!
Alamo Drafthouse
San Antonio (Westlakes)

Alamo Drafthouse
Winchester, VA

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Hospital Massacre (1982)
A Valentine’s Day treat! Sliding comfortably into two horror sub-genres (medical slasher & valentine’s day slasher), Hospital Massacre is as ridiculous as it sounds. The opening sequence is a flashback to Valentine’s Day 19 years previous and puppy love is in the air. Fortunately for us, hearts get broken (literally).
Barbi Benton, 80s Playboy bunny and Hef’s former girlfriend, plays the final girl waiting for test results at the dankest hospital you’ve ever lit a cigarette at. Then, someone tries to kill her. Good enough for me.

The parking lot scene is solid gold. I’ve watched it about 15-20 times and it always makes me laugh. Throwing empties at the scooter-riding nerd, “Science”?! What else do you want?

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

Horror Remix Presents… You Better Watch Out!

admin — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:46:44 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… You Better Watch Out!

2 Hours of Holiday Slashers
Wednesday, December 23rd 10PM
FREE!!!

NOW IN VIRGINIA!
Alamo Drafthouse
Winchester, VA

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Horror Remix Presents… You Better Watch Out from Edward John on Vimeo.

Horror Remix Invades Winchester, VA

admin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:20:57 +0000

We’ve finally made the leap outside our friendly hometown state of Texas and our first stop is historic Winchester, Virginia. The first show will be Wednesday, December 23rd at the brand-new Alamo Drafthouse. More details follow next week.

This will be an important show for many reasons. Most importantly, we need to prove Horror Remix can be successful outside of Texas. If that’s the case, our screenings could start popping up all over the country (including your hometown).

If you know anyone who lives in north Virginia or west Maryland, please tell them about this show. Your efforts would be greatly appreciated.

Zombies!

admin — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:13:55 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2 from Edward John on Vimeo.

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2
2 Hours of UnDead Madness!

Friday, October 30th 10PM
4 TEXAS SHOWS! FREE!!!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Studio Movie Grill
Dallas (Royal)

Limited Edition Tee Shirts

admin — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:54:44 +0000

Limited Edition Tee Shirts on sale this Friday, Oct. 30th
Only 35 shirts printed! Austin & Dallas (Royal) shows only.
$18 (cash only)

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2
2 Hours of UnDead Madness!

Friday, October 30th 10PM
4 TEXAS SHOWS! FREE!!!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Studio Movie Grill
Dallas (Royal)

Horror Remix Presents… Zombies 2

admin — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:19:43 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2
2 Hours of UnDead Madness!

Friday, October 30th 10PM
4 TEXAS SHOWS! FREE!!!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Studio Movie Grill
Dallas (Royal)

FleshEater’s attempt to stick rigidly to the formula and play it simple somehow works. Maybe the entertainment lies in the casting of locals and goofy-ass teenagers. Hey, this is classic 80s, plus it’s got a massive body count. There is no doubt that these guys put everything they had into this movie and you gotta love that.

Notable Actor: Bill Hinzman (Night of the Living Dead, the Majorettes) also writing and directing FleshEater!

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! This is a Friday show, so I’m hoping for packed theaters. And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap. SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

Horror Remix Presents… ZOMBIES 2 from Edward John on Vimeo.

Classic Epilogue

admin — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:27:33 +0000

Here’s a classic epilogue from last February’s DUMMY show (contains spoilers).

Horror Remix Presents… RUSH

admin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:26:48 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… RUSH
2 Hours of Sorority Slashers!

Wednesday, September 9th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS! FREE!!!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

First, let me show you all 14 films I saw preparing for this screening.

Night of the Creeps is actually a perfect 80s horror film. I wouldn’t touch it. Highly recommend everyone check this out when it finally comes out on DVD this fall.

Notable Actor: Elaine Wilkes (Sixteen Candles)

The only time this movie jumps off is when it dives in the gutter; sex, booze, pills and a few good kills really work, especially in the context of a well made film.

Notable Actor: Linda Blair (The Exorcist)
Notable Writer: Randy Feldman (Tango & Cash)

Notable Actor: Eileen Davidson (The Young and the Restless)

Horror Remix Presents… RUSH from Edward John on Vimeo.

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! And don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

Classic Epilogues

admin — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:35:00 +0000

Here’s some classic epilogues from 2008’s Zombie screening.

Shopping

admin — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:05:34 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… SHOPPING
2 Hours of Shopping Mall Slashers!

Wednesday, July 8th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978) was the first film to draw parallels between the American consumer and modern zombie. The plot of zombies invading a shopping mall delivers a subversive attack on American consumer capitalism. 30 years later, Dawn is still just as relevant and regarded as a masterpiece. However, what more can be written or said regarding the importance of Dawn? There are already essays and websites written by much smarter people than me. So, I’ll focus this article on what I know best: teens being brutally murdered at the mall.

The shopping mall does make for a great setting in the slasher genre. A claustrophobic building scenario (later perfected by Die Hard), plus tons of resources for hiding places, escape routes, and tools for creative kills.

Plus, the shopping mall and horror genre make great companions. Both pander to teenagers with disposable income and are notorious for peddling cheap commodities. Each of the 3 films featured in Shopping Remix make some veiled attempts to be satire, invoking consumerism, security, technology and progress. However, the half-hearted rhetoric is squeezed in to make the films more than they really are. Bottom line, the “trapped-in-the-mall” scenario is ripe for slicing and dicing teens in the 80s (similar to “lost-in-the-woods” in the 70s). Let’s leave the groundbreaking allegory to the rest, because slashers at the mall are the best!

The Initiation (1984)
A sorority’s initiation ritual forces pledges to break into a mall and stay overnight. The Initiation is a highly underrated film and the best of the mall slashers. The characters are well written and the ending has a nice payoff. Unfortunately, the “mall” they are trapped in is NOT a mall at all. It’s actually the Dallas World Trade Center. This can be somewhat distracting as you wonder, “Where’s the Orange Julius? Where’s the Chest King or Miller’s Outpost?” But no big deal, just a little odd…
Notable Actor: Daphne Zuniga (The Dorm That Dripped Blood, Melrose Place)

Hide and Go Shriek (1988)
Teenagers play a game of hide and seek overnight in a furniture store. Hide and Go Shriek will best be remembered for how incredibly horny the teenagers are. These people can’t keep their hands off each other. The over-the-top acting is the film’s best asset and we get one of the most realistic severed heads in horror history. Damn, it’s nasty…
Notable Actor: Sean Kanan (The Karate Kid, Part III)

Chopping Mall (1986)
A group of mall co-workers stay after closing for an all night party. Chopping Mall is a classic crowd-pleaser. A very rare sci-fi slasher peppered with 80s goofiness. As good as that sounds, you won’t be disappointed. And if you’ve already seen it, it’s even better with Chopping virgins and some beer.
Notable Actor: Kelli Maroney (Night of the Comet)

So, bring your friends and GET THERE EARLY! I’m hoping for big summer crowds and I don’t want the true fans to get shut out. So, please arrive 9:30pm at the latest!!! Finally, don’t forget, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… SHOPPING from Edward John on Vimeo.

This Wednesday, DEATH ROCK!!!

admin — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:04:31 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK: Part One
Wednesday, April 29th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

Trick or Treat (1986), Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare (1987), plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

The music your parents wanted you to burn! The movies the government restricted you from seeing! Together at last!!!

DEATH ROCK Promo

admin — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:30:32 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK from Edward John on Vimeo.

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK: Part One
Wednesday, April 29th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

The music your parents wanted you to burn! The movies the government restricted you from seeing! Together at last!!!

DEATH ROCK: Part One

admin — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:10:58 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK: Part One
Wednesday, April 29th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD! and FREE!!!

The music your parents wanted you to burn! The movies the government restricted you from seeing! Together at last!!!

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK: Part One

Instead of a third film, we’ve filled the rest of the screening with rock shorts from the likes of Rocktober Blood, Hell’s Bells, Heavy Metal Parking Lot and Hard Rock Zombies. You may be wondering will there be any horror rock films left for Part Two? Hell yeah! Look forward to Black Roses, Shock ‘Em Dead, Blood Tracks, Terror on Tour, Slumber Party Massacre 2 and Hard Rock Nightmare.

If I’m missing any, please let me know. We can always do Part Three…

* full disclosure – I know nothing about heavy metal

Horror Remix Presents… DEATH ROCK from Edward John on Vimeo.

The Dark Power Remix (1985)

admin — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:40:18 +0000

The Dark Power Remix (1985)
Director: Phil Smoot
Studio: Vci Video
DVD Release Date: 2004
Original Run Time: 81 minutes
Remix Run Time: 31 minutes

The Dark Power is a independent horror film shot North Carolina in the mid eighties. The strong regional accents by the local actors gives the film a strong hint of realism. The local nature of this production is its best asset, giving The Dark Power a color and vibe a big budget Hollywood film could never pull off. The racial tension between the characters is especially real creating a sense of squeamishness. I imagine back in 1985 an “n-bomb” would still be quite shocking and as it turns out, a clever way to quickly develop an unlikeable character. You can’t wait for those racist assholes to get mutilated. Which brings me to the flaw of the film.

When it’s time to get killing, the film gets cutesy and doesn’t pack the violent punch the viewer demands. The zombies are far from scary and the make-up and costumes frankly suck. The director, Phil Smoot, seems to realize this and instead of playing it straight, the arrival of the zombies means silly time. And although the goofy ass slapstick of the rubber-masked zombies has its charms, this sharp turn in mood is unwelcome.

All that being said, this was a huge hit at last year’s Texas screening. And why not… Although The Dark Power has its flaws, this film is a lot of fun.

I was surprised to find the DVD has a commentary track because most films of this caliber rarely have extras (not to mention widescreen format!) Smoot seemed to have lots of fond memories and the project sounds like a labor of love. I thought it was cool that they did product placement for Budweiser in exchange for free beer. That’s awesome. So buy/rent the DVD and show your friends. You can find it really cheap.

Join Horror Remix on Facebook or MySpace

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY

admin — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:36:27 +0000

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY
Wednesday, February 25th 10PM
3 TEXAS SHOWS!

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)

FREE!!!

Horror Remix kicks off 2009 with a no-brainer. The most under appreciated class in the horror genre; the evil doll flick. Why are dolls, dummies, mannequins and puppets so creepy? Is it because they are lifeless vessels for evil to lurk or is it our own psychosis that projects life and personality into a dummy made from wood, plastic or fabric? Regardless, these bastards are scary.

Dolls have long been a staple of the horror genre going back as far as 1937 with The Devil-Doll. Several important actors and directors have had dalliances with the possessed puppet. Anthony Hopkins played a schizophrenic ventriloquist in Magic (1978). Alfred Hitchcock and Rod Sterling both featured an evil dummy in their television shows (Alfred Hitchcock Presents… and The Twilight Zone respectively). Steven Spielberg wrote Poltergeist (1982) which features a creepy clown doll. The evil doll genre’s mainstream heyday was probably in the late eighties with the emergence of Chucky (Child’s Play 1988) and the Puppetmaster series (1989-2004). But these blockbusters were mere “child’s play” compared to the originality cooked up by independent and foreign filmmakers in the seventies and eighties.

In Ghosthouse (1988) Italian horror legend Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal Ferox) combined two childhood fixtures into one; the clown doll. Because of the extreme violence of his earlier films, Lenzi’s Ghosthouse is considered a fall from grace by hardcore gore hounds. And yes, this film is perfectly goofy and ridiculous featuring many horror stereotypes. But it’s still a unique and odd contribution to the genre. Lenzi seems to play like Quentin Tarantino, pulling ideas and inspiration from all corners of the horror realm. Although the clown doll is just a small part of the evil infested throughout the ghosthouse, he is the star. On a final note, Ghosthouse has an odd assortment of alternative titles including an informal link to the Evil Dead series (Evil Dead 3, La Casa 3, House Of Doom).

The clown doll was apparently stolen from the Poltergeist props department.
Left: Poltergeist (1982) Right: Ghosthouse (1988)

Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Horror Remix Presents… DUMMY from Edward John on Vimeo.

REVIEW

Movie Geek Feed Review

PRE-SHOW PRESS

Houston Press

Pegasus News

The Decider (The Onion)

Holiday Remix in Dallas Tuesday; Austin & Houston Wednesday!

admin — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:33:39 +0000

3 SHOWS THIS WEEK!

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)
10pm Tuesday, December 16th

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th

FREE!!!

Get your holiday fill of 80’s cheese, with 3 wonderfully awful slashers. Slaying Santas and slaughtering snow skiers, this triple feature will make you cringe.

Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Iced (1988)
Christmas Evil (1980)
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Horror Remix is… (Berserker Version)

admin — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:55:01 +0000

And don’t forget, 3 shows next week!

You Better Watch Out: 3 Holiday Slashers in 2 Hours!

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)
10pm Tuesday, December 16th

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th
[display_podcast]

‘You Better Watch Out’ Dallas, Austin & Houston!

admin — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:34:41 +0000

Horror Remix Presents…

You Better Watch Out: 3 Holiday Slashers in 2 Hours!

Studio Movie Grill
Addison, TX (North Dallas)
10pm Tuesday, December 16th

Alamo Drafthouse
Austin (Lake Creek)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th

Alamo Drafthouse
Houston (West Oaks)
10pm Wednesday, December 17th

FREE!!!

Get your holiday fill of 80’s cheese, with 3 wonderfully awful slashers. Slaying Santas and slaughtering snow skiers, this triple feature will make you cringe.

Plus, lots of fun extras, shorts and your puppet MCs, Cheesecake and Thunderclap.

SO BAD… IT’S GOOD!

Iced (1988)
Christmas Evil (1980)
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

Post Show Feedback

admin — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 16:57:16 +0000

Horror Remix thanks the friendly Texans for showing up this week. I hope you had a great time. If you’d like to offer feedback, I’d really appreciate it. What was you favorite film/moment? What would you change?

The overriding comment so far is Sole Survivor was not “Horror Remix” worthy. And in retrospect, I have to agree. On a positive note, The Dark Power was shockingly successful with big laughs and groans.

Rate each moment 1-10 and/or add comments:

Sole Survivor
Sole Survivor Puppet Epilogue
Horror Remix is… Short
The Dark Power
The Dark Power Puppet Epilogue
The Invisible Dead Short
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie Puppet Epilogue

Finally, if you have suggestions for future shows, let me know.

Happy Halloween - Cheesecake

Spooktime

admin — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:08:38 +0000

The Austin show went really well and I hope my ghoulish friends in Houston and DFW can represent. So, gather up your friends, split a cab and drink heavily.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – HOUSTON
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 29TH, 10PM
SCHOOL SPIRIT EDITION: Hell High, Fear No Evil, Girls Nite Out
3 Films in 2 Hours. FREE!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL – DALLAS, ADDISON, PLANO, LEWISVILLE, ARLINGTON
THURSDAY OCTOBER 30, 10PM
ZOMBIE EDITION: Sole Survivor, The Dark Power, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
3 Films in 2 Hours. FREE!!!

Zombies! Austin! Tonight!

admin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:37:23 +0000

Dismember the Alamo Film Festival 2008
Alamo Drafthouse – Lake Creek, Austin

FRIDAY, OCT 24th
7pm – An Evening with Max Brooks is $10 (author of The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War)
10pm – Horror Remix Vol. 8, Zombie Edition is FREE! (3 zombie flicks in 120 minutes)

SATURDAY, OCT 25th
7pm – Zombie Shorts is FREE!
10pm – Shaun of the Dead is $6.50

Dismember the Alamo Video Promo from AlamoZombieFest on Vimeo.

7 Shows in Texas!

admin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 00:26:08 +0000

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – HOUSTON

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – HOUSTON SITE
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 29TH, 10PM
SCHOOL SPIRIT EDITION: Hell High, Fear No Evil, Girls Nite Out
3 Films in 2 Hours. FREE!!!

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – LAKE CREEK

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE – AUSTIN / LAKE CREEK SITE
FRIDAY OCTOBER 24, 10PM
ZOMBIE EDITION: Sole Survivor, The Dark Power, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
3 Films in 2 Hours. FREE!!!

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL – DALLAS, ADDISON, PLANO, LEWISVILLE, ARLINGTON

STUDIO MOVIE GRILL SITE
THURSDAY OCTOBER 30, 10PM
ZOMBIE EDITION: Sole Survivor, The Dark Power, Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
3 Films in 2 Hours. FREE!!!

To receive 2 free passes to the Studio Movie Grill show, sign up for the email newsletter by clicking here.

Hard Rock Zombies – A Horror Remix Short

admin — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 23:20:09 +0000

Hard Rock Zombies – Mini Mix
1985
Original Runtime: 98 minutes
Mini-Mix Runtime: 8 minutes!
Broadcast Quality Video Podcast

After reading on IMDB that HRZ was originally a 20 minute short film, it all makes perfect sense. Let’s face it, HRZ doesn’t have a lot to offer. It’s a drag and a damn mess. I know you’ll be tempted to see the whole film and I just cannot recommend that. I cut 90 minutes for a reason.

This movie is completely off its rocker (badmovies.org has a great review here). The attempt at comedy is painful. I guess they were trying to do a hard rock Monkees horror film. I just don’t know. BUT…

The love story…. is… awesome! The lead singer, Jessie, is tired of the groupies and the meaningless hand jobs. He wants to feel something real… real young. Jessie falls for a girl named Cassie who is half his age (and he’s in his mid-twenties)! And Cassie is not a young girl dolled up to look older. Cassie wears white overalls and rocks a ponytail. So, you get a 15 year old who actually looks 8! It’s the creepiest part of the movie.

Their love is a forbidden love. And this mini mix dives deep to explore their never ending bond. And the love theme, “Cassie’s Song” is actually a great pop song (seriously).

- Cheesecake

Here’s a YouTube version as well.

Award-Winning Horror Remix!!!

admin — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:50:52 +0000

I’m so happy to announce Horror Remix has won “Best Fright Night” by the Dallas Observer! Thunderclap and I even got some love. Now if only we had a theater here in our own hometown that will show our finely crafted regurgitation (at least Austin and Houston loves us). Read an excerpt from the article below…

- Cheesecake

Best Fright Night

E.J. Antilla’s Horror Remix

Horror films are great. Nothing beats a good scare and some really bad acting. Nothing except local artist E.J. Antilla’s Horror Remixes. As the Web site boasts, it’s “All Killer, No Filler” when Antilla edits down B-rated horror flicks (think Hell High, Silent Night Deadly Night 2, Slumber Party Massacre and the like) to 30- or 40-minute flicks without all the lame side-plots and stupid dialogue. Click here to read more…

Horror Remix is…

admin — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:30:48 +0000

FREE Triple Feature Tonight!!!

admin — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:42:09 +0000

CLICK HERE FOR THEATRE DETAILS

Horror Remix in Austin, TX

admin — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 03:54:49 +0000

Slumber Party Massacre – Epilogue

admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 03:43:50 +0000

Slumber Party Massacre – Epilogue
***CONTAINS SPOILERS***

Triple Feature in Austin & New Epilogue

admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 03:33:04 +0000

AUGUST 20th, Wednesday

TRIPLE FEATURE in 100 MINUTES!
Hell High
Girls Nite Out
Fear No Evil

Alamo Theatre – Lake Creek
Austin, TX
Starts at 10pm – FREE!!!
More Details Soon… until then

Slumber Party Massacre Remix

admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 02:36:42 +0000

Slumber Party Massacre
1982
Original Runtime: 77 minutes
Remix Runtime: 41 minutes

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The Slumber Party Massacre is a really interesting movie. On the surface, it’s a very generic, yet highly entertaining slashers from the early 80’s. And for me, that’s all I need.

But when equipped with the knowledge that the film was written and directed by women (Rita Mae Brown & Amy Holden Jones, respectively) suddenly small details are magnified. Random throwaway dialog causes head-tilting. Then, it hits you! The drill is the killer’s “tool” of choice. Just look at the VHS cover? From between his legs the drill is pointing directly at boobies. Is a feminist agenda at hand? Are young men being polluted with lesbian propaganda?

I don’t think so.

However, I do think these ladies were having some fun. They pepper the movie with symbols of women liking sports, women enjoying porn and women masturbating with fruit. It’s kinda silly today, but maybe 25 years ago this was somewhat groundbreaking. No? Maybe? OK, this is not high art, I mean this IS a formulaic slasher. However, there is enough intellectual subtext here to make the film interesting. Or at least warrant the question; is the reason males abuse, rape, kill, wage wars, etc. is because of our dongs? And are dongs the reason we watch this crap? Maybe if you and you bros are high enough, it might be worth discussing.

Birth of Evil Moment: the creation of man

WARNING: nudity, violence, women talking sports, wild ass sequel

Graduation Day – Epilogue

admin — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:27:29 +0000

Cheesecake and Thunderclap deliberate the artistry of the slasher classic, Graduation Day

Graduation Day Remix

admin — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:36:04 +0000

Graduation Day
1981
Original Runtime: 96 minutes
Remix Runtime: 44 minutes
Broadcast Quality Video Podcast

If there was ever a film bridging the 70s to the 80s, here it is. The perfect metaphor is the film’s featured band, Felony. All gothed out with eyeliner & puffy shirts, performing watered down metal or punk or southern rock. I don’t know what it is; but it’s really shitty. All the while, a crowd roller skates around them!

There’s a psychedelic haze over Graduation Day that’s really cool. The uneven bars gymnastic scene is a real trip. Some might call this random scene “useless filler”. I say VHS GOLD! ***Bonus*** Fight through the gymnast’s 70’s hair and check out the butt. I think we can all agree, it’s special.

Just in case you don’t believe me

So, what was cut? The chase / stalking scenes have been really cut down. And that’s about it. Those scene are a drag. They last forever and squander any goodwill the film had garnered up to that point. Really there’s only about 45 minutes of movie here, making this the perfect remix candidate.

The characters in this movie are brilliant. Inspector Halliday (Carmen Argenziano) is hilarious and should have had more screen time. And the dialog is so quotable. I only wish there was more.

Birth of Evil Moment: 100m heart attack

WARNING: nudity, tame violence, good weed, bad rock, horny Linnea Quigley

Memorial Valley Massacre – Epilogue

admin — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:31:31 +0000

Memorial Valley Massacre Remix

admin — Fri, 23 May 2008 15:44:28 +0000

Memorial Valley Massacre
1988
aka Valley of Death
Original Runtime: 93 minutes
Remix Runtime: 45 minutes
Broadcast Quality Video Podcast

This is the beginning of our “Have a kick ass summer!” movie series. Horror Remix will be unloading ass-loads of horror classics throughout the summer.

The 1st in our series is Memorial Valley Massacre (IMDB). I think this is a damn fine film. Imagine Cha-ka from Land of the Lost as a killing machine and you get the idea. What more do you want? How about a drunk park ranger, a black biker (I never knew) and a major cock-tease? She not only teases her camp mates, but I imagine back in 1988, a handful of 14 year olds weren’t too pleased with her nudity-free performance. Now, I’m gettin’ the fuck outta here…

Birth of Evil Moment: botched hostage negotiation

WARNING: Actually, no warning. This thing is pretty tame

Cha-ka from Land of the Lost

Cheesecake & Thunderclap’s MVM Epilogue (contains spoilers)

Earth Day Fun!

admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:20:49 +0000

We don’t aways screw around here at Horror Remix. Sometimes we even give back. For Earth Day, we bring you a grave warning from caveboy, Steve. A poignant metaphor of the environment lashing back at the disrespectful.

Memorial Valley Massacre (1988)

April 20th, heed the warnings of Steve and…

plant a native tree
adopt a kitten
eat only grass
stop wiping
and quit drinking bottled water!

Slaughter High Remix

admin — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:52:13 +0000

~~Slaughter High Remix~~
(working title) April Fool’s Day
1986
Original Runtime: 90 minutes
Remix Runtime: 38 minutes
Broadcast Quality Video Podcast

“Behind every great 80’s horror film is a BIG bag of coke” – Horror Remix

Carol: “Wanna toot?”
Skip: “Hey, that stuff costs”

More than you know, Skip. More than you know…

Slaughter High is the perfect fueled-by-cocaine movie. The music sucks. I mean, it really sucks. The film looks like shit. The characters are cocky. The clothing is ridiculous. There’s no writing. Basically, there’s not much filmmaking going on here.

BUT… there’s explosions, motorcycle crashes, creative special effects, boobs, melodrama, boom mikes, a holiday theme and fake American accents. Unfortunately, you can’t see it very well. I wonder if some beautifully remastered DVD is on the horizon, because it deserves it. But I have a feeling these guys blew the budget on dry ice, fire and flooding toilets. Who needs lighting, man. It’s a fuckin’ horror film!

Birth of Evil Moment: Laced joint

Fun Facts: Plenty of interesting notes on this film (WIKI, IMDB)

WARNING: NUDITY, EXTREME VIOLENCE, DRUGS, POOP

My Bloody Spring Break

admin — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:26:52 +0000

One of my favorite discoveries in 2007 was actress Lisa Loring, best known as Wednesday Addams on the 1960s comedy The Addams Family. In the 80’s she starred in two low-budget horror films, Blood Frenzy (1987) and Iced (1988). According to her bio on tv.com, this was dark time for her. Why? Because, behind every great 80’s horror film, there’s a BIG bag of coke. That’s why the music sucks. Iced is no exception. In fact, cocaine is basically a character in the film with all the snow & blood & ummm… coke. And although Iced was fueled by cocaine, this movie wouldn’t be much without Loring. Hopefully, she’ll sign my Iced VHS box someday. So, what about Blood Frenzy? Well, so far, I can’t find a copy (trade, anyone?). And I don’t know much about it. Only this clip…

However, my quest for Blood Frenzy wasn’t a complete failure. I discovered more VHS “blood”. So, here we go. The six “blood” films I watched over Spring Break…

From Worst to First

#6 Blood Feast (aka Night of a Thousand Cats)

This is a film that’s much better to talk about, than to actually watch. A 70’s horror movie featuring:

1) man-eating cats
2) a helicopter
3) a dungeon
4) a castle
5) heads in glass boxes
6) Zulma Faiad
7) big ass liqueur glasses that must be held with two hands

Yet, it still sucks. Unfortunately, Blood Feast is very proud of their helicopter. If this was a football game the score would be Helicopter=78, Cats=2. The cats weren’t really featured as much as I hoped. But once I saw the way they were treated (in reality), I didn’t want to see them anymore. It was just sad. Shitty movie that’s not fun, just boring. Russ Meyers left shit like this on the cutting room floor. - 1972

#5 Bloody New Year

I’ve never heard of a good Aussie horror film. Come to think of it, Australia has only a handful of good films (Rabbit Proof Fence, Shine, Muriel’s Wedding). Bloody New Year’s premise is unique, but when an 80’s horror film lack sex, drugs, blood, boobs, cheese, entertainment… I lose interest… oh and the New Year’s angle is pushing it. - 1987

#4 Blood Tracks

Swedish butt rock band Solid Gold (aka Easy Action) shoot their video for “Blood Tracks” in the snowy mountains. It’s all eyeliner, booze, horny groupies and a dude named “Kee”. Until…

“Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I catch cold easy!”

…and the movie grinds to a halt. Endless chase scenes and when someone finally does get hacked, you don’t see much. Still, it’s worth checking out. - 1985

#3 Blood Song

This is a pretty fun slasher with Frankie Avalon as the killer. Why does he kill?* Because as a boy, he witnessed his father’s murder/suicide (his slut wife & her lover). What’s a boy to do… but play a fucking flute?! And he plays and plays. Avalon is pretty creepy and the final girl’s “drink-in-the-dark” abusive father is, dare I say, a bad ass. The over-the-top ending plus the fucking flute make this film special. - 1982

*Birth of Evil Moment: when the killer as a young child, witnesses murder or adultery (Silent Night, Deadly Night I & II, the Initiation, Nightmares of a Damaged Brain, Blood Rage)

#2 Blood Link

A fantastic film I just kinda lucked into from 1982. And if I’m not mistaken, an Italian film spoken in English, but mainly filmed in Germany. Got it? Cameron Mitchell has a small role and Ennio Morricone did the soundtrack. And if that weren’t true, I’d use them as the prefect metaphor for this collision of trash and class. A doppelganger theme, but with a twist; these guys are separated Siamese twins. A WTF ending, tons of nudity and the most original murder I’ve ever seen. Great stuff. - 1982

#1 Blood Rage (aka Nightmare at Shadow Woods)

The best film I’ve seem this year. It’s got it all; drugs, booze, an evil twin, serious gore, boobs, Atari, a holiday theme (Thanksgiving!!!), cussing, partying and midnight tennis matches. This would be the perfect slasher if it had an inspirational theme song (what’s up Fatal Games). I can’t recommend this enough if you like your slashers unintentionally goofy, but still kinda creepy. - 1983

Birth of Evil Moment: The 8 year old evil twin sees mommy kissing boyfriend at the drive-in. Within a minute, boy puts ax in horny jock’s face, who unfortunately was parked nearby. Classic!!!

So there you go. Shoot me an email if you’ve got questions or anything. Happy Spring Break - Cheesecake

Horror Remix Needs A Home

admin — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 19:49:08 +0000

If you want to see Horror Remix LIVE, please demand it below, otherwise Cheesecake and Thunderclap will fade into (even further) obscurity. Only memories and old YouTube clips will remain…

Big News

admin — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:15:12 +0000

I’m pleased to present Girls Nite Out Remix as a broadcast quality video podcast. You should still be able to watch the film on your iPod. However, this will also look nice on an iPhone, full screen on PC or even a HDTV. Now you can watch these shitty horror films all sorts of ways.

Personally I recommend burning the movie to a CD-R or DVD-R and watch it on your television (assuming your DVD player supports m4v). It looks pretty good. Or if you have Apple TV or connect your PC to your HDTV, even better! If you have any problems, ideas or comments, please let me know.

Finally, look for Horror Remix on MySpace and YouTube for more awesomeness.

- Cheesecake

Girls Nite Out Remix (1984)

admin — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:20:54 +0000

~~Girls Nite Out~~
aka the Scaremaker
1984
Original Runtime: 96 minutes
Remix Runtime: 38 minutes
Looks great on Apple TV or full screen on your PC

“Do you believe in magic?” – The Lovin’ Spoonful

Go ahead and download this now. Don’t read about it. Don’t anticipate it. Just clear your brain and watch it. The less said about this film the better. The best way to buy the DVD is the Bloody School Girls Triple Feature DVD – (Girls Nite Out / One Dark Night / Blood Sisters). I haven’t seen the other two films, but Blood Sisters was one of the last movies by feminist / pornographer Roberta Finley and the trailer looks radical.

WARNING: NUDITY, VIOLENCE

Hard Rock Nightmare (1988)

admin — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 17:59:00 +0000

The team that brought you the somewhat satirical slasher, Evil Laugh, got their start that same year with the ridiculous werewolf film, Hard Rock Nightmare. While this film isn’t “remixable” it does have some golden moments. And the soundtrack is terrific (if you like kicking ass).

There’s no reason to summarize the plot or prep you for these clips. Just know that these clips are the only good moments; except for the songs. They are gnarly. So gnarly, in fact, that these hot trax will be on my soon-to-be-release CD, Shredding: Songs From the Closing Credits of 80’s Horror Films…

Now, on to the 4 clips…

Tribute to John, the Bad Boys’ drummer who passed away too soon

Smokin Bones and Bonin’

“Just kiss it, OK?”

Uncle Gary vs. the Bad Boys

Hack-O-Lantern Remix (1988)

admin — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 00:02:45 +0000

~~Hack-O-Lantern Remix~~
aka Halloween Night
1988
Original Runtime: 86 minutes
Remix Runtime: 42 minutes

Cheescake & Thunderclap Discuss Hack-O-Lantern

admin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:48:15 +0000

Cheesecake and Thunderclap discuss the brilliance of Hack-O-Lantern (aka Halloween Night). The Hack-O-Lantern video podcast will be release tomorrow.

Iced Remix (1988)

admin — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:55:03 +0000

~~Iced~~
1988
Original Runtime: 86 minutes
Remix Runtime: 42 minutes

This straight-to-video snow ski slasher is a special little film; and much like skiing this thing is best when drunk or stoned. Most viewers back in the late 80’s probably pushed eject after 20 minutes or rode the whole thing out, only to be bitter after the drawn out ending.

That being said, the gold of Iced is uniquely hidden in the middle. Starts slow, ends slower. I know, completely opposite of the formula. Fear not. Horror Remix has cut this down to one mean, coke-snorting machine. The death by ski pole and icicle are pretty cool, however, it’s the six vacationers and the very dead Eddie that trash-movie buffs will love.

Magical Moments
1) Working out in the kitchen while the rest are actually trying to cook
2) Snorting coke in the bathroom… naked
3) “I’m taking a shower, then crashing, when’s dinner?”

Fun Facts
1) The lovely slut, Jeanette, is Wednesday from the Addams Family (Lisa Loring).
2) The guy who wrote the screenplay is the killer (Joseph Alan Johnson)
3) Moon boots are sneaky-quiet

- OUT OF PRINT

WARNING: NUDITY, EXTREME VIOLENCE

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Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 Remix (1987)

admin — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 18:23:05 +0000

~~Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 Remix (1987)~~

This movie gets universally dogged for being one of the great rip-offs in film history. And rightfully so. Almost half of its runtime are clips from the first film! Itâ€™s shameless; yet awesome. You see, SNDN 2 essentially makes the original obsolete. All the good stuff from the first is here (blood, gore, boobs) plus new stuff (blood, gore, no boobs?!). The combination of the two features, then chipped down even more, create a power-packed 40 minutes of jolly fun.

I thought Horror Remix pioneered the concept of “All Killer, No Filler”. Literally – cut to the chase. But these guys remixed a film inside a film! And although there intentions were equivalent to a “reminiscing” episode of Diff’rent Strokes, I have to give it up.

If you donâ€™t treat the original like sacred art, youâ€™re sure to enjoy this money grab. Terrible acting. Groan inducing one-liners. Unique kills. This is a really fun movie

. – OUT OF PRINT

WARNING: NUDITY, EXTREME VIOLENCE

Terminal Entry Trailer (1986)

admin — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:50:03 +0000

Don’t really care to see this movie, but the trailer is pretty funny with explosions, terrorists and Kevin from Mr. Belvedere. And I believe George W. Bush learned about foreign policy with this film. I found this on the Evil Laugh VHS.

Cheescake & Thunderclap Discuss Holiday Horror Films

admin — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 22:01:13 +0000

At the end of every Horror Remix, our friends, Cheescake & Thunderclap, discuss the brilliance they’ve witness. For your holiday pleasure, I offer our latest epilogues. These YouTube versions are nude-free, for obvious reasons. However, you can still see the full blown uncensored boobs at the end of each Horror Remix podcast.

First up, the masterpiece known as Iced

Next up, the artistic achievement known as Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

Wintery Mix

admin — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:18:29 +0000

Tomorrow is Holiday Horror Remix. Here’s some holiday fun to wet your appetite.

These are 2 leftovers that I discovered while preparing for tomorrow. The first clip is from the British slasher Don’t Open Till Christmas. Holiday Horror Remix will feature many clips from this film, mainly Santas being waxed. Including one Santa getting his junk cut off at the urinal. This film has its moments, but overall a nasty little movie that offers only a few laughs.

Don’t Open Till Christmas

The next clip is from Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. This movie is really terrible, and when I tell you this clip is the most entertaining 24 seconds of the film, you’ll be appalled. How they made 5 films in this series, I’ll never know. If you’ve seen all 5… man, your patience is amazing.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3

Holiday Horror Remix

admin — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:56:25 +0000

Holiday Horror Remix
Tuesday December 11th, 8pm
The Cavern Upstairs
NO COVER

Two Holiday Trash Films in 80 Minutes!

9 pm
Iced (1988)
Let’s settle this on the mountain! Night ski race… Now!
Blue jumpsuit, cracked red ski goggles and sneaky-quiet moon boots. Now that’s a badass killer. Unfortunately, he saved the killin’ until the last ten minutes, so most folks had already returned this VHS to the video store. Lucky for you, you won’t have to wait 80 minutes to see an icicle in the eye socket. Horror Remix will get you there right away. Don’t eat the red snow! – OUT OF PRINT

9:45 pm
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
This movie gets universally dogged for being one of the great rip-offs in film history. And rightfully so. Almost half of its runtime are clips from the first film! It’s shameless; yet awesome. You see SNDN 2 essentially makes the original obsolete. All the good stuff from the first is here, plus new stuff. The combination of the two creates one of the largest body counts I’ve ever seen.

In the information age, appreciate the fact that this movie could NOT be made today. As soon as word would leak about the 40 minutes of rehash… it’s done. No one would see it. If you do an internet search for this film, you’ll find SNDN 2 to be HATED. You’re just gonna have to trust me on this. If you don’t treat the original like sacred art, you’re sure to enjoy this money grab. Terrible acting. Groan inducing one-liners. Unique kills. This is a really fun movie! – OUT OF PRINT

Before and After the Double Feature
Deep Cuts – Good Music, Bad Films

Music: 60’s jazz, 70’s soul, 80’s post punk, 90’s shoegazer, 00’s indie & holiday standards

Film Clips: Black Christmas (1974), New Years Evil, Don’t Open Till Christmas & Sole Survivor. These are films I considered remixing, but as good as some are, they just don’t work for whatever reason. I think the original Black Christmas & Sole Survivor are both very good films. Sole Survivor is out of print. If you’re interested, let me know.

Mind the early start. See you there!

Mixed Reviews from Halloween

admin — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:56:14 +0000

So, Horror Remix went live for the first time on Halloween night. Although the Double Feature at the Cavern went smoothly (with a decent turn out), not every attendee knew what to make of it.

Keep in mind, these are terrible movies. And if you’re not in on the joke, well, you may wonder what the hell is going on. In hindsight, introducing the public to Horror Remix with Hack-O-Lantern (AKA Halloween Night) was probably not the best idea.

While the Dallas Observer gave Horror Remix a favorable preview, and seemed interested in satanic grandpas and sex in a graveyard, the radio show the Orphanage on KTCK 1310 AM the Ticket – not so much. Here’s a ~~3 minute clip~~ of their reaction to Horror Remix (more specifically the remix of Hack – O – Lantern).

If you didn’t listen to the mp3, they describe Horror Remix as bizarre, weird and porn. OK, Rock ‘n Roll Nightmare shower scene mixed with A Flock of Seagulls’ “Photograph of You” isn’t for everyone. Maybe it was a little early in the night for that one…

So the experiment continues… This is not an official announcement, but look for a Happy Holidays Horror Remix in December! Confirmation date and location next week.

Graduation Day Remix

admin — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 21:45:39 +0000

~~Graduation Day Remix~~
1981
Original Runtime: 96 min
Remix Runtime: 44 min

The horror / gore here is weak, however Graduation Day’s strength is fantastic characters. The grouchy detective, the pot smoking couple who belittles a cop (after they’ve been given a warning) and the boozed up father who throws the word “bitch” with buckets of piss and vinegar. If there was ever a film bridging the 70s to the 80s, here it is. Check out the punk band performing, while the crowd roller skates around them! Plus, thereâ€™s a psychedelic haze over this film thatâ€™s really cool. Check out the slow-mo uneven bars gymnastic scene. Heavy.

Available on DVD!

Halloween Double Feature at the Cavern

admin — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:03:16 +0000

Horror Remix / Halloween Double Feature
10PM Wednesday, October 31
Upstairs at the Cavern
Lower Greenville, Dallas

10:30PM
Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

AKA Halloween Night, this out-of-print gem is just ridiculous. I seriously don’t know what’s going on, yet I don’t care. I’m laughing. Hack-O-Lantern gives you everything you want in a trash film and more.

Do you want a satanic grandpa? Yes
Tons of nudity? Yes
Heavy Metal? Yes
Stand up comedy? OK, I guess
Incest? No!
Sex on top of a dead body? Really?!

Whether you like it or not, you can have it all!

I’ll be shocked if this film is ever released on DVD, so this may be the only chance to see this film. If the remix version makes little sense, it’s not my fault. The source material made little sense in itself.

11:15PM
Night of the Demons (1988)

This film will probably be remembered for being one of the last good horror films of the 80’s. I imagine if you’re reading this, you’ve at least heard of it. I think they made a trilogy; that I’ll probably never watch.

This film teeters between good / bad. Meaning, when it’s developing characters, it falls into the cliches of 80’s-ness which is fun. And when it tries to be creepy, it succeeds. So, although I normally don’t like the “possessed-by-an-evil-spirit” thing, this movie is just too entertaining.

So why remix it? Because it’s still a late 80’s horror film. It never had a chance.

The Last Slumber Party Remix

admin — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:01:00 +0000

~~The Last Slumber Party Remix~~
1988
Original Runtime: 79 min
Remix Runtime: 34 min

Completely unrelated to the Slumber Party Massacre trilogy, The Last Slumber Party is a painfully cheap little gem; no nudity and all the kills are the same. But like unprotected sex, it’s fun, but you might get an STD. All I can say is, if you can fight through the initial shock of seeing such a poor quality film, you’ll eventually get with the program and find many small rewards.

When Thunderclap first watched this movie, the first comment was “they’re on meth”. I laughed until I saw the look of concern on TC’s face. Dang, they might be. It was filmed in Oklahoma.

The parking lot scene is solid gold. I’ve watched it about 15-20 times and it always makes me laugh. Throwing empties at the scooter-riding nerd, “Science”?! What else do you want?

Buy it on a double feature DVD, with Terror at Tenkiller for like six bucks. Do it.

Back II School – Private Event

admin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 18:25:00 +0000

***Main Features***

Hell High (1989) – Shot in 1986 but not released until 1989, almost two years after star Christopher Stryker died of AIDS. Unfortunately, this was his only film. This movie is truly unique and original. I actually feel kinda bad for remixing it.

Fear No Evil (1980) – the Antichrist in high school sound like a good thing. And when the movie doesn’t get bogged down(religious talkie talk, castles and candles) this film is wicked. Especially the high school scenes. Featuring a soundtrack by Talking Heads, Sex Pistols, the Ramones and many high profile new wave / punk bands. And one of the most shocking moments I’ve ever seen.

The Last Slumber Party (1988) – This little gem is painfully cheap, no nudity and all the kills are the same. Plus, completely unrelated to the Slumber Party Massacre Trilogy. But somehow, this movie rules. Jan Jensen is so likable with her down home accent. And one moment she thinks a guy is hot, next she’s calling him a fag. Or a queer. Or a gay. Awesome. Features “heavy metal rock” by FIRSTRYKE.

Graduation Day (1981) – This is a very dated flick. If there was ever a film bridging the 70s to the 80s, here it is. Check out the punk band performing while the crowd roller skates around them! Plus, there’s a psychedelic haze over this film that’s really cool. Check out the uneven bars gymnastic scene. Heavy.

***After Hours Bonus***

Girls Nite Out (1984) – There is no suspense, no nudity, it’s just a mess. However, this movie is must see. And I won’t say why. The less you know about it, the better.

Hell High Remix

admin — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:15:00 +0000

~~Hell High Remix~~
1989
Original Runtime: 79 Minutes
Remix Runtime: 38 Minutes

Hell High (AKA Raging Fury) Shot in 1986 but not released until 1989, almost two years after star Christopher Stryker died of AIDS. Unfortunately, this was his only film. He plays the bad ass Dickens, the sinister student who will not take shit from you or anyone. And he’ll throw a hot dog at you to prove it. And kiss the quarterback’s girlfriend right in front of him. That’s right. Dickens don’t give a shit.

This movie is truly unique and original. I actually feel kinda bad for remixing it. However, even at 79 minutes, it’s still a little bloated. The perfect edit would be about an hour long.

Normally, I’m not a fan of commentary tracks, but check out the Hell High DVD for the commentary by Joe Bob Briggs. He’s obviously a big fan and he’s pretty funny.

Student Bodies (1981)

admin — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 21:42:00 +0000

Student Bodies (1981) – OK, everyone agrees, this movie was way ahead of the curve. A slasher satire in 1981? But honestly this movie is really obnoxious and over-the-top. Like babysitting a kid who’s diet consists of Fun Dip and Rockstar Energy Drink this movie needs a serious time out. However, there are some genius moments that really crack me up.

This was director Mickey Rose’s only film, although he wrote for a ton of sitcoms like 227 and Too Close For Comfort. People really dig this movie, so give it a shot if you like the joke-every-second genre like Airplane!. (This is no Airplane!) You won’t be bored, but you might groan more than laugh. Here’s a remix of how it starts. Enjoy.

The Last Slumber Party

admin — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:07:00 +0000

Homosexual as a derogatory term? Hell yeah, queers!

Puppet MCs

admin — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 18:41:00 +0000

Horror Remix is proud to announce the recruitment of the best puppet MCs in the biz. We have been looking for someone to give fun facts and “what to look for” tidbits for remixed movies. Cheesecake and Thunderclap are veterans in the horror biz and have written, directed and starred in many underground horror films. Unfortunately, most of these films have yet to be release in the US. Or anywhere.

Please welcome them to the Horror Remix family!

Horror Remix Goes Live

admin — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:24:00 +0000

Horror Remix is excited to announce its first public screening. It will be in Dallas, upstairs at the Cavern on Halloween night. I haven’t decided what films to show. It’s gotta be conducive to a loud bar, so something low on funny dialog and high on visuals (gore, t & a, and 80sness). Right now I’m thinking Rock N Roll Nightmare and Slumber Party Massacre. But who knows. Chopping Mall could work. I’ll take requests…

Fatal Pulse Trailer (1988)

admin — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Fatal Pulse Trailer (1988) – I’ve never seen this movie, but I hear it’s insane. I found the trailer on my VHS copy of Evil Laugh.

Fatal Pulse unfortunately is NOT anywhere on DVD, so you’ll have to buy a used VHS copy for around $15 after shipping or wait for me to remix it someday.

Terror at Tenkiller

admin — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 17:28:00 +0000

Terror at Tenkiller (1986) – This movie is so boring. Yet, for a movie I don’t like, I sure think about it a lot. Is it because it features a likeable final girl with a hypnotic big butt or is it the way the killer reveals his dark secrets by harmonica? I seriously can’t sit through this film again, so I will never remix it. However, I have posted the classic harmonica sense. The harmonica is overdubbed with a Casio?! I’m serious. I high-fived myself! The final girl has some wicked curves. It’s fascinating. I watched her butt the whole movie… To stay awake… Or maybe I just get down like that.

You can find the film for a couple of bucks as a double feature DVD (Scream Theater Double Feature, Vol. 2) w/ the genius of The Last Slumber Party. If the YouTube clip entertains you, give both films a shot. – NOT REMIXABLE

Back 2 School Update

admin — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 19:04:00 +0000

I’ve done a few new remixes. Some for Horror Remix 2: Back 2 School, other just because I couldn’t wait to slash em up.

Slumber Party Massacre
Hell High
Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare
and I’m getting close to finishing Evil Laugh

All of those movie are damn good 80’s bliss, but each cut down to about 30 minutes will blow your top. Hell High was really hard to cut, because it really has some incredible characters and it turns the high school horror film upside down.

I’ll write more about those films once they are posted. But the main reason for this posting was to mention the crap I’ve watched to find the gold. Super props to Bleeding Skull, because they point me in the right direction and seem to do most of the dirty work. Plus, they seem to get the difference between bad (good) and just plain bad. They also get that humor in horror is mostly a terrible thing; however unintended humor in horror is glorious. And if it’s 80’s and Canadian – jackpot!!!

So here’s what I’ve watched recently:

Bloody Birthday (1981) – Three 10 year olds on a killling spree sounds bad ass, but ends up just plain bad. Boring, predictable, PG feeling; and people will give it good reviews, because it’s unique and the kids are great actors. BUT those factors are rarely important at Horror Remix; the only redeeming value is Julie Brown’s stripe scene. That IS a good. And usable. NOT REMIXABLE

Fear No Evil (1980) – the Antichrist in high school sound like a good thing. And when the movie doesn’t get bogged down(religious talkie talk, castles and candles) this film is wicked. Especially the high school scenes. They are killer and feature a sound track by Talking Heads, Sex Pistols, the Ramones and many high profile new wave / punk bands. And features one of the most shocking moments I’ve ever seen. If they would have spent the entire movie on campus this would be an all time classic. This will be perfect in the 30 minute format. HIGHLY REMIXABLE

The Last Slumber Party (1988) – Bleeding Skull loves this little gem so I bought it on a double feature DVD (w/ Terror at Tenkiller). It’s painfully cheap and all the kills are the same. But Jan Jensen is so likable with her down home accent. And one moment she thinks a guy is hot, next she’s calling him a fag. Or a queer. Or a gay. Awesome. Only 72 minutes and features “heavy metal rock” by FIRSTRYKE. Hey guys, shoot me an email! HIGHLY REMIXABLE

Killer Party Announcement

admin — Thu, 24 May 2007 19:45:00 +0000

The sequel to the highly successful party “Horror Remix: My Bloody Valentine” has been announced!

Horror Remix 2: Back 2 School
Saturday September 15
6PM – 2AM

Movies being considered for remix:

Hell High***

Cutting Class

Cheerleader Camp

Return to Horror High

Graduation Day

Sorority House Massacre

Sorority House Massacre II

The House on Sorority Row

The Dorm that Dripped Blood

Hell Night

Killer Party***

Night School***

Slaughter High

The Initiation***

Final Exam

*** I’ve seen it

So I’m open to ideas and suggestions, and please save the date.

– FrenchBoxing

Killer Workout Remix

admin — Tue, 22 May 2007 17:26:00 +0000

~~Killer Workout Remix~~
1986
Original Runtime: 86 Minutes
Remix Runtime: 29 Minutes

If you’re familiar with horror films, you most certainly know that 99% of them have serious down time or filler.

I love horror films; especially the bad ones from mid 70’s to late 80’s. The only problem is they are filled with “who-done-its” and mindless subplots. And the worst of all filler – the 10 minute creepy suspense build up of a girl walking through the woods, only to end with the dumb jock jumping out to scare her. What a rip off, not to mention a waste of my time.

So that’s the point of this blog. To remix (or edit) horror films down to about 30 minutes. It’s really all you need. Trust me.

My first remix is the classic “Killer Workout” from 1986. If you’ve ever seem the entire film, you’ll completely understand why this is my first choice. This movie is so fantastic, but it really, really drags toward the end. However, at 29 minutes, it’s 80’s slasher cheese at it’s finest.